Brave Hearts (Sesshomaru Fanfiction)

23. When the Time Comes

A/N: Sorry for the delay, but here you go~ I promise I'll upload the next xhapter as soon as possible (: Thanks again to all of you who enjoy reading my story. <3 ________________________________________________________

In her mind, it was as if nothing made sense anymore.  

One question ran through her mind, and that was ‘Why?’

As of recent, she found that she'd been asking that question quite often in her life. 
But not once in her long lifetime had she been able to answer said question. 

Between actually finally delivering her baby and then hearing what Kaede had to say, it was as if time had slowed.   

She’d been so eager and so anxious to be able to hold her very own child in her arms. She’d felt ecstatic, almost. And then she noticed it.  

She noticed that the child in Kaede’s arms – its short, bloodstained hair a silvery white color like Sesshomaru’s– was unmoving. She’d felt her heart cease. The child was pale and there was no cry.  

That was when she’d questioned what was wrong, and Kaede had informed her of the awful reality that was her child being stillborn, and she soon began to shed tears.  

Hana had suddenly become paralyzed with shock, fear, anxiety and numerous other emotions that had begun to run wild inside her.  

Still frozen in place, with a detached and questioning look on her face, she thought she’d heard Sesshomaru storm in. She soon felt even weaker than before, and she soon found that it was becoming harder for her to hold herself up. And what happened after that was – to her – a mystery, for Hana soon fell backwards onto the mat she’d been on, head spinning and vision blurring as she fainted and everything faded to black.  

When she’d awakened, there was no one around. She was lying all alone in a small hut that was unfamiliar to her – a very discomforting awakening indeed. She still felt weak – too weak to sit up –, and her heart was extremely heavy. A great sadness hung over her, causing a tear to fall down the side of her pale face.  

She wondered if all that had been a dream. She hoped that it had all been a dream – that she had simply fainted after growing exhausted due to being in labor for such a long time, and that her pup was alive a safe in the care of its father whom it probably resembled oh so much. But she knew better. She knew that it wasn’t a dream. She closed her eyes, more tears cascading down her already tear-stained face as she wondered why, out of all the demons – all the women – in feudal Japan, she had to be the one cursed with such misfortune.  

All she’d wanted was to have her own family – to give Sesshomaru an heir and to make him happy.  But she could not even do that.  

She couldn’t help but feel that, in some way, she was responsible for all this. Maybe she’d done something wrong, or maybe the Gods simply hated her. But all this of course, was just thoughts caused by her extreme emotional state at the moment. The image of her child in Kaede’s arms flashed before her eyes.  

Deep down, she knew that the child’s death was probably something that she couldn’t have possibly controlled. But logic was, at the moment, the least of Hana’s thoughts. She couldn’t help but feel guilty – feel pathetic – about what had happened.  

Opening her eyes and remembering that she was alone, she suddenly wondered where Sesshomaru was.  

Maybe she had angered him.   She couldn’t blame him if he was, indeed, angry. What would she do if he came to see her?

Would she break down and cry? She couldn’t bear to do such a thing in front of him – even after being with him for so long.  

Hana turned to look out the one open window in the hut, looking up at the starry night sky and wanting nothing more than to disappear from the world (her world of sadness and bad luck) for a while.