Finding Islam

67. COO - Istighfar

Video in the media section

- KING'S POV -

"Assalamu alaykum ikhwaan al Muslimeen. InshaaAllah take your seats and quiet down so we can start this lecture by the will of Allah swt. My son is sick at the hospital so once I'm done here I have to rush there." The imaam spoke into his microphone before bringing a bottle of water to his lips, nodding at those around him in thanks who uttered prayers for the health of his son.

I felt a tug at my heart, a weird one at that, my mind automatically putting myself in our imams shoes. Just the hypothetical situation of having a son sick enough to be in hospital was enough to make the hairs over my body rise.

This is what I was constantly thinking about, day in, day out, whenever I would tell myself to man up and accept this baby, I would think, 'you're not even going to be able to take care of it'.

I knew it was shaytaan in one aspect because Allah swt would not have chosen to grant us this blessing, this responsibility, had A'ishah and I not been ready for it. Allah's timing was perfect and He made no mistakes.

All protection, health, wealth, sickness, the good, the bad and the ugly, was all from Him and I was no one to question His decree.

"Is he okay? Nothing serious, I hope." I spoke up, seeing as though I was right beside him in the first row. Alhamdulillah I had come quite early today, feeling the need to be at the masjid longer than normal to ease my heart.

"He's okay, alhamdulillah. He got a viral infection, so they've got him on antibiotics and serum overnight. He'll be getting discharged tomorrow inshaaAllah." He smiled at me.

"InshaaAllah." I repeated. "That's good, alhamdulillah."

He smiled at me and eventually the masjid quieted down, making him clear his throat and begin his lecture. "Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem. In the name of God, the All Compassionate, the All Merciful. Innal hamda lillah nahmaduhu wa nasta'eenuhu wa nastaghfiruhu wa na'oodhu billahi min shuroori anfusinaa wa min sayyi-aati a'maalinaa; man yahdillahu falaa mudilla lah, wa man yudlil falaa haadiya lah; wa ash-hadu allaa ilaaha illa Allahu wahdahu laa shareeka lah, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan 'abduhu wa rasooluh. Verily all praise is for Allah, we praise Him and seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness and we seek refuge with Allah from the evils of ourselves and our evil actions. Whomever Allah guides there is none who can misguide him, and whomever Allah misguides there is none who can guide him, and I bear witness that none has the right to be worshiped except Allah alone, having no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger."

He cleared his throat once again before introducing the topic. "InshaaAllah today's topic will be on the lowest points of our imaan. The times where we lose our way and struggle to find our way back. We find ourselves engaging in sins and drifting away from good deeds. We begin to realise that Shaytaan has strengthened his hold on us and we have drifted from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and then we realise it. Sometimes we realise it early on and manage to get back on our feet before too much damage has happened, but other times we think we are too far gone. We think that Allah swt will not forgive us or that He hates us because we have wronged Him."

"Let me begin by saying that Allah's mercy encompasses all things. Allah's love for us is seventy times that of our mothers love for us. In a hadith found in saheeh al Bukhari, the Prophet, peace be upon him, told us that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala had 100 parts of mercy and He kept 99 of them to Himself, and distributed one part of mercy among the world. So the mercy that animals have towards each other, the mother bird spending her days making a nest for her eggs and then spending her days flying away and finding food to bring to them, the mercy of a calf suckling his mother's teets for milk, or a family pets mercy towards the baby of that household, the mercy all our mothers individually show to all of us, all of these things, my brothers, stem from only one part of mercy that Allah swt has distributed among the world, and 99 parts of mercy, all equal to the single one that we share, are with Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. We do not refer to Him as the Most Merciful and Most Compassionate every time we say Bismillahi Rahman ar Raheem for nothing. We refer to Him as those because that is what He is, so do not ever doubt or question whether His mercy is enough for you to be forgiven, no matter what. No matter how far you think you've fallen. No matter how long it has been since you've lost your way. Even if you've engaged in a life of sin and this is your first time attending a masjid, or your first time listening to a lecture. Allah Himself says in the Qur'an, And who despairs of the mercy of his Lord except for those astray? So never ever despair in his Rahma." He spoke.