Muted Mate

17.

{swearing}

After dinner I cleaned and took out the rubbish I went up to my room and done my homework.

4+10=14
8+908=916
7-8=-1
78x70=5460

*DING*

Who the fudge messages me at 10:40 at night. I see a name that I don't hear of very often.

Cody?

C- Hey Kat, it's Cody. Just a warning you have to let him in or he will give up soon.
Cody :)

And with that I choose not to reply. But I know who he's talking about. Luke he wants me to let Luke in?

Ahahahaha. Very funny I'm crying no dying from laughter. NOT.

Never am I letting him in. He's a player. He will use me then dump me like everyone else. Nope no way.

I put my books away and lay down and attempt to get some sleep.

-Morning-

I wake up to the birds chirping and the sun.

Pft I wish

I walk to the bathroom and do my things, walk out and make my way to Narnia or as normal people would call it the wardrobe.

I wear black ripped jeans, a white v-neck, and my black converse.

I curl my hair and put a beanie on, then do my daily makeup.

I walk down stairs and find pancakes and a sausage sitting on a plate.

I'm shocked. The first time in years I will have a actual breakfast. I find a note stuck to the fridge.

Kat, I went out into town to find a job. Sorry I had to leave early.

Best Wishes
Mum xo

Woah my mum left a note and made me breakfast. She really is trying to change, maybe I should give her a chance, it could help us both.

I eat and start walking to school, It takes me just over 15 minutes to walk.

When I arrive I see Cody and give him a sweet smile. He gives me a smile of what looks like an apology.

Why???

I walk into the corridor and see Daisy clinging onto Luke like he's just saved her life.

Da faq.

Yeah it hurt to see that. No it hurts like a bitch, but I will show no emotion what so ever.

I was right.

Why would someone like him want to chill with some mute bitch?

I walk past them totally ignoring them and go straight to my locker.

I get my English books and head to class.

-------------

It's lunch and I'm sitting all alone at what I now call my table.

All I could think about was how Luke had Daisy wrapped around him and he done nothing about it.

That chicken dick asshole cunt.

Then Cody message last night sent me know many thoughts, and then his smile this morning.

Ughhhh.

Yesterday everything was fine then after asking the whole mate thing it just fucked everything over.

Nice one Katrina.

Cody's message ran through my head.

Let him in.

Open up to someone.

I need to open up and tell someone.

That's what that moon thing said in my dream and now Cody?

This has to mean something for sure.

Well it's worth a try my brain tells me.

But who to tell.

Eve.

Eve hopefully will listen and accept it and be a friend.

It all ran into my mind.

I have to speak.

I have to talk words and use my voice box. Like move my mouth and sound comes out. Maybe it's worth it all.

It could help me.

I'm gonna do it. I have to. Not for me but for everyone else.

I get up and walk around trying to find Eve.

I see her standing near a tree alone, her back facing me.

I slowly walk behind her and tap her shoulder.

She turns around and smiles "Hey Kat can I help you?"

Here I go.

Come on Kat you can do this.

"Can, can I speak to you?" I say just below a whisper.

She looks shocked. She just stares at me like I'm a ghost. I wave my hand in front of her face and she shakes her head and blinks.

"Did you just talk?" Really Eve that's all you can say.

No yeah sure Kat what about.

In response I nod my head.

"You wanted to speak to me. Like a voice with voice conversation. Sure!" Eve says smiling and all happy.

"Follow me." she says and starts walking towards the car park.

She gets in a car which I'm assuming is hers.

"Start talking." she says looking at me.

"Well ummm. I think I need to um open um up. And I think I need to tell someone." I say really softly.

She gives me a nod to say continue.

I tell her everything from when I started getting abused to when I stopped talking, my mother, how we have to keep moving place to place, what they would do to me, Luke and Daisy this morning.

I didn't say that I cut because then she would freak out bad.

But I told her EVERYTHING.

"Wow babe. I never knew you are so broken. I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you. You never deserved this. I'm sorry that we didn't find you earlier so we could help. Out of all then people out there it had to be you. I'm so sorry, that's dickhead Luke. Why would he do that to you? You don't deserve any of this. Your an amazing person." Eve says that's makes me smile and say a quiet thank you.

"Hey you spoke. And you opened up and let someone in. Im proud of you Kat. Now you can start talking again and you can slowly get better." She says smiling. Eve likes to smile a lot.

We got out of the car and she gave me a hug. I cried.

I don't cry but I am.

"Shhhhh it's okay."

I don't notice until I look up but Eve is crying as well.

"I'm sorry." is all I hear for the next five minutes.

She made me feel better.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can now be who I need to be and what I want to be.

I just spoke, cried and opened up.