Chpt 9~pretend

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His eyes opened slowly. He felt a pain in the back of his head. He felt tired.

Richie awoken from his sleep to face 6 of the other losers laying down surrounding him. Was last night a dream? No, it couldn't be.

"Morning Rich."

Richie quickly turned to face the red-haired girl, she was smiling while holding a cigarette between her fingers. "Wanna smoke with me?"

"Uhm, nah. What happened last night?" Richie was desperate to know, the moment he woke up and realised who he was.. He remembered last night. The way Connor pushed him down forcefully... The way Connor undone Richie's belt...

The way that Richie felt too weak to defend himself...

"You weren't that drunk? How comes you don't remember what happened," Bev questioned.

"I'm not sure," Richie quickly responded. "I remember what happened, i mean.. How did i get here?"

Bev laughed as she sat down next to Richie. "I found you passed out in the guest room so i brought you back here."

"What was i wearing?" Bev stopped as a large smirk crossed her face. "You didn't fuck a girl did you?!"

"What? No, i mean. I can't remember," Richie laughed but not happy laughs. Beverly could tell that the laugh was forced out but she ignored it, she just ruffled her hand through his curly hair.

"You was fully clothed Richie, everyone was worried because you said you were gonna be quick to speak to Connor and get me. But you weren't quick. Why were you actually in the guest room?"

Richie stopped and looked away, he didn't want to tell anyone. Not yet anyway. Richie felt that somehow it was kind of his fault. Well.. Not his fault but, he felt like he could've done something to stop it.

Maybe he could've.. Maybe Connor didn't sexually assault him. Maybe Richie was just overthinking it because it was the first time that he had done something with anyone..

"I was looking around the house for you after i spoke to Connor, i looked in the guest room but i guess i just passed out on the bed from all the drink," Richie quickly spoke, the words just rolled off of his tongue. He hated lying to Beverly.

"Right well, did you have fun at least?"

"Uhm, yep.." Richie gulped deeply as Bev got back up and picked up her bag. She then turned to Richie and spoke with her soft, angelic voice "so did i, tell the others that i had to go home early because my dad wants me back early. I couldn't dare be late.."

Richie nodded before she waved goodbye and walked up the staircase to leave. As soon as he heard the front door close, Richie laid back and began to let his thoughts take over.

Was Eddie lying? Was he just saying random shit because he was fucking hammered? He didn't know what he was going on about.. That's probably the case. Same with me actually.. I was drunk and maybe i misheard the words... No, that's stupid. But besides the point, am i overthinking about Connor? Is it my fault? Is it my fault that i didn't do anything? Did i give him consent but can't remember because i was also drunk? Wait no, i remember telling him not to. But i could've done something to stop him, why do i have to be so weak.. Should i tell Stan? Or Bev? Or Eddie?? No no no, i can't! I've only told Connor that i like boys as well as girls, i'm such a weak ass. But why did i trust Connor more than the losers? Connor hasn't spread my secret though.. Which is goo-

Richie was disturbed from his thoughts as he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Stan and Eddie, everyone else was still asleep.

"Richie, you okay? It looks like you've been crying," Eddie asked as he gently wiped a tear that was rolling down his cheek.

Did Eddie not remember the night before? Did he not remember what he told me?

"I'm fine," Richie answered bluntly. "Sorry for not coming home straight away last night." He still felt guilty.

"It's cool, you passed out from the drink. It's not your fault," Stan kindly said. Richie wasn't sure if he passed out because of the drink or because of the pain, but he shrugged that off his shoulder.

"Yeah, it's fine Rich. I don't remember that anyways," Eddie reassured.

"Wait. Do you remember anything from last night?" Richie was curious. Too curious. But he didn't wanna seem suspicious. "Because, you seemed pretty fucking pissed," he joked.

"I only remember a guy giving me a drink and then him giving me a big bottle of it. I downed it and from then, i guess it all happened in a blur," Eddie explained.

"Right.."

"Do you remember anything that happened last night?"

"Yes, i remember you getting pissed. And then i remember looking for Beverly and then i random passed out from.." Richie took a big breath from how many words he spoke in one simple breath. "From how much drink i had."

"Fair enough," Stan responded.

"By the way Rich, when you next see Connor.." Richie felt a pain in his chest as he heard the name. "Tell him i said thank you for letting me come to the party, it was the funniest night i have had in a long time."

"Will do," Richie smiled. "I gotta get going though, parents are probably waiting for me." Stan looked at Eddie confused, and then looked back down at Richie who was already stuffing his shit in his bag. Stan then asked, "It's only half 10, you never need to leave this early."

"Oh well, i do today." And with that, Richie stood up with his bag weighing on his back and began to head up the staircase to leave Bill's basement.

His parents were home though, Richie forgot.

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