The Betrothed.. (Editing)

Knowing you.

I didn't get a chance to edit this so please ignore the mistakes. :) if I got to editing I might not have been able to update as per my promise.
DISCLAIMER: I OWN THIS STORY'S PLOT AND CHARACTERS.

Knowing you.

When I didn't say anything he sighed.

He brought his hand to stroked my cheek and I flinched thinking he would slap me again.

He sighed again whilst leaning in and put his hand on my cheek, caressing it.

"I hurt you more than anyone you know? I don't know why.. Maybe some part of me always takes you for granted, maybe I think you would understand me better. Trust me I never wanted to let you see this side of me. I tried and I tried but I ended up doing just that. I thought if I pushed you away then I wouldn't loose control but I did. And I'm sorry! This time wasn't as bad as the rest of the times. Just because of you, you know? Every day I look into the peoples eyes and see how they have judged me. Not a day goes by that I look at them and not get reminded of all the atrocious things I've done. My past is horrible. I never want you to know about it but I will gradually tell you, so you know what I am. What you will be living with. Why I'm like this. When I look at my mom she looks at me with disappointment especially after" he hesitated and forced himself to say her name "Jazz-Jazzlyn. I- I haven't said her name since... i- I killed her" his voice broke.

He took a deep unsteady breath and carried on. "My dad looks at me like I'm some kind of toy to show off. John looks at me like he hates me, I never wanted him to. I love him, I truly do. It hurts to see a thing such as a throne create such hatred between us brothers. James.. James.." he wanted to say something. A secret but he couldn't. I thought they were pretty close.

He paused and sighed. "I've done horrible things."

"You might not know this but everyone loves you, everyone respects you. I've seen it in their eyes." I said while putting my hand around his which lay on my cheek.

I couldn't believe that a second ago I was so mad at him and now..?

I wanted to make him feel better?

"I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving someone I wasn't. But then you came along. With your big brown eyes and looked at me, like really looked at me. You didn't judge me. You didn't know me. You wanted to find out who and what I was instead of just listening to people or believing what I wanted you to believe. For the first time, in my entire existence, I wanted to be someone better, someone worth loving, hoping that what people said about me was true, for you. But I failed, miserably. For I will never be the 'good guy' I never was, I never will be. I can't pretend to be something or someone I'm not. My true nature of a monster will always be around the corner willing me to lose control and show itself to the world."

I was about to say something but he beat me to it. "I look at you now and all I see is.. fear."

He paused.

That was the most I had ever heard him say. I wanted to make him feel better.

Of course I understood. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to have siblings hate you, kill them and God knows what else.

I sighed.

"It's alright David"

"No its not. I can't always take my anger out on you, I can't always push you away. I can't even believe I- I did what I did. I never thought I would ever raise a hand on you. I never thought I would try and kill you. I never thought I would force you into anything physical. If Lincoln didn't stop me I don't know what I would've done" he shuddered. "I'm very sorry, I promise not to ever do it again"