Stop The World, I Think I'm in Love //h.s//

Chapter 8

Fallon's P.O.V

No.

This couldn't be happening.

It has been a week since I found my beautiful mother, lying on the cold floor.

I was in denial on the first day. So deep in denial. I couldn't believe it. How could she be dead? Just when things were going right, things seem to go wrong. My own mother left me. She fucking left me. She's dead now, and I can't do anything.

That was how I spent my second day. Hating myself. Hating my mothers actions. Although it wasn't her fault, I start to think of how many ways she could have stopped it. She could have called the police, she could have done something. But she left me.

The third day was of me pitying my mother. I pitied that she had to go through being stabbed in her stomach, repeatedly, as the cops has informed me. Well, informed Jamiee, I was pretty much a crying mess.

How could she be dead?

The fourth and fifth day was of me trying to remember every single moment with my mother. Although that was impossible, I savoured every thought, constantly reminding myself to permanently remember her forever, but alas, I am not one with very strong memory cells. Eventually, I am to forget the tiny details. I wanted to let the memories cave in, just until I was ready to let her go. Until I was ready to accept the fact that she is dead.

The sixth day was when they buried her, was when they put her body underneath the ground. She was buried late, only because they wanted to properly clean up her wounds, stitch up her deeply open cuts.

On the seventh day is when I let her go. Or at least when I thought I did. I thought that I was finally able to move on. But yet, here I am, in my bed, with tears streaming down my face. I am surprised that I still have tears anyways.

My phone kept beeping in the background. Harry has constantly been texting me, calling me, voice messaging me, anything to get in contact with me. I hadn't explained to him what has happened, and I didn't answer anything. I didn't know how to, basically.

I am now so numb. I cannot feel anything. I can take a shower with the water scorching hot, and I would feel nothing.

So that's what I do. I set the water temperature to the hottest that it can go. Fog appears on the mirrors in less than ten seconds. Steam can be seen in the air. I get in, trying to find any pain, but there is none. I feel nothing. I am empty. Inside and outside. I have no more emotions from the inside, so nothing can be seen on the outside.

When I'm done from the shower, I take out something from the drawer, something that I haven't used in a while. It's been three years since I last touched this object. I soon find it at the very back of my drawer.

A razor blade.

I slide it against my wrist, one, two, three times. I keep sliding it and I don't feel anything. I slider the blade on my thighs, and still not receiving any pain. I am sure now that I am completely numb. Anyways I wouldn't care.

AUTHORS NOTE:

SHORT AND DEPRESSING CHAPTER IM SORRY, but will you please go and follow my best friend, Aya. Her wattpad username is "jumpinginsunshine" and she has a story that is BLOODY AMAZING called "Living with the devil" So yeah.

Double update yaaayyyyy.

Another update soon. So don't forget to vote and comment, cause I spent three hours writing this chapter.

Sorry it's very short.

I love you guys.