Into the Chaos

chapter thirteen

Cassandra sells what was left of the gear I salvaged over the last few days when we get back to the Crossroads. After she is done doing so, we go to the camp in the hills surrounding it to spend the night and wait for Dorian.

I don't see him 'til the morning when we start the days journey back to Haven. We return sooner than I expected. It was dusk. Cullen saw us approach and came to greet us.

"Herald. It's nice to see you back."

"Likewise." I mutter as I dismount my horse.

I walk it over to the stables. As I do, I pass an area that looks like where the Charger's set up camp. Considering the time, they were probably at the tavern. I leave the stables, after untacking and brushing my horse, to do what was requested of me and eat some food. I sit in a corner after asking for a bowl of stew when they got time to serve me. I get my food and eat it in a matter of minutes. I scratch a symbol underneath the tabletop with a knife while I do.

As I leave the tavern, a soldier walks up to me. He asks if I would like to bed him. I decline. And so begins the long line of people asking that same question. Some are nicer about it than others. Some are rather vulgar about it. Especially after I decline their offers. Either way, any and all request makes me nauseous.

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About a week later, I ask if the advisers we can go to the Oasis. To look into the shards. They agree and I choose to bring Bull, Vivienne, and Blackwall.

The four of us get to the Oasis and it is swelteringly hot. I mean, it's dry heat but hot. Harding tells us about the temple. I take us around the area to close some rifts and to gather some of the multitude of shards. When we get to the temple, I open it.

The veil fire sconces light up as I step through the opening. It has a cool interior which is almost surprising but considering that the place was sealed for who knows how long, may have something to do with that. It's a nice difference either way.

I have gathered enough shards to open all of the fire doors with some extras. We spend three days doing all of this.

I find that in our absence, the soldiers still didn't figure out that I am not interested in the slightest. I end up spending the next few days just outside of Haven. Only really going inside to go to the Chantry if I am needed.

I spent one day making a hole in the ice to fish. I spent another finding some cave to sleep in. On the third day of hiding out in the wilderness, Bull walks over to me.

"Hey boss, noticed you keep turning down the soldiers. Wonder why that is? Someone caught your eye?"

"You tell me. Aren't you supposed to be good at this sort of thing?"

"Yeah, see, I'm not too sure about you. Too...neutral."

I laugh. "Bull. Why wouldn't I turn down the soldiers?"

"I don't know. I certainly wouldn't."

"Yes well, you're you and I'm not."

"You're deflecting the question boss."

I sigh. "Come with me."

Its silent as we walk away from Haven.

"I turn them down because I find the idea of what they are offering repulsing. And I don't even know if there is a term for it here. Where I lived before there was. It was called Asexuality. I'm also demiromantic. So sleeping with people... doesn't really do it for me."

"You're sex-repulsed is what I got from that."

"To an extent, yes. Asexuality is when someone experiences little to no sexual attraction. There are other words for variations upon that. Demiromanticism is when someone is romantically attracted to someone after they have an emotional connection with that person. It's a type of aromanticism. I hope that made sense. This all varies from person to person."

"So you just don't care for...stuff in general?"

"I guess? Aesthetic attraction is something I get. What I would like it is the soldiers to stop asking me."

He just grunts in response.

"Listen. This has cause me a bit of trouble in the past. If you could just not mention it that would be great."

"I have a question. What happens when you get like frustrated."

I just look at him, "I'm gonna go eat now if you're done."

"Yeah, go ahead."