Into the Chaos

chapter fourteen

When I turn, I see Solas and Leliana hurriedly walking through the gates of Haven.

Was he put up to this. I stop and turn back toward Bull. "Did Leliana ask you to come talk to me? Did you figure out I wasn't into sex before she asked?"

He has the decency to look sheepish, "Yeah to both of those. She threatened my boys. Sorry."

I turn away and walk out towards the mountain that the Temple of Sacred Ashes rests on. I stop after maybe ten minutes of walking and start pacing back and forth (with slight hyperventilation).

Shit. They're gonna want more information. I can't lie about this. Maybe I can twist it around? They were in the wrong. I'm gonna need to make sure they know that they should just ask me about things. I haven't shown that I know anything more than I should yet. Hopefully it stays that way.

I spoke in Deutsch the other day. Fuck. At this point English is my primary language. I haven't accidentally done that in years. Why did I do that?

Is that what started this idea? They hear I'm not... normal and then Cassandra would have mentioned that I spoke in a language that she's never heard. I can't lie about that. Leliana and Josephine are too knowledgeable. So Leliana hears this and uses Bull to what? Tell them that I know words that don't even exist here?

I know that they don't entirely trust me yet. That much was made clear after I killed the Blades of Hessarian. But to this extent? And to get caught spying? What the fuck? I can't do this. I can't keep lying. I can't tell them. I can't leave. Actually I could but there is only so much I can do alone. I have no permanent mode of transportation that can keep up with me. I can only get so far on foot. Only get so many places. And I certainly can't keep panicking in the woods.

"We need to chill the fuck out. That's what needs to happen. Five things I can see. What are they? My foot prints. Bunch of trees. The snow sparkles. Some of my hair. My arms cause they're on top of my head now. Four things I can touch? My shoes. The nearest tree. My hair. Can I touch wind? Either way. Wind. My cloak. Three thing I can hear. Birds. The snow under my feet. The clanking of swords from the training camp. Two thing I can smell? All the way out here? Tree sap. Maybe that's pine. I really need a bath. Its been at least a week. And my mouth? Tastes real bad. When was the last time I cleaned my teeth?

"Great. All chill now. Okay. Ask a servant for some hot water. No wait. I can carry the water myself. I have a fireplace. Do that. Scrub myself down. Get something to eat. Take a nap. Go to the Fallow Mire. While there, decide who to choose. If possible, find a way to save both parties. Mostly the mages 'cause we can't have time magic running around if I take the Templar way. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt. Yep. Totally got this. Let us go find a bucket."

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As soon as I summon the council, I get questions pertaining to what languages I speak.

"Oh boy. Get ready." I list these with my fingers, "I can speak trade, obviously, enough Elvish to know what people are saying, and Tevene. Well, enough so that I can read it. Some qunlat but not really." And a couple you've never heard. Probably.

"What was that you spoke in the Storm Coast then? It was fairly throaty." Cassandra asks.

"I said one word but it's my mother tongue. I told Josephine I lived very far away. My parent's home isn't in a village or city. I don't know where our family is from well enough to give you anything substantial. As far as I can tell, the language isn't all that common."

"Where exactly? Which country?" Leliana asks.

"I don't know. I traveled in a direction for three weeks before I saw the first signs of civilization. It was a dense forest. Fairly dry because of all the trees. Parts of it were swamp but not where we lived."

"That seems awfully convenient." Leliana narrows her eyes at me.

Unsurprisingly, she doesn't believe me. "I don't know what else to tell you. I left so long ago. They literally kicked me out of the house as soon as I was sixteen. I won't be able to find it again."

"How old are you now?"

"When is the winter solstice?"

"Next month."

"I am almost twenty-two. Look I can't help it if my answers don't satisfy you. I just wanted to know if we can go to the Fallow mire. It would take at most a week. And when I get back, we can talk about to do about the mages. We have to wait for an invitation back anyway, right?"

They agree and I go off to tell Bull, Blackwall, and Solas we were leaving tomorrow morning. Before going to talk to Solas, I stop by my cabin to write a note and the tavern for a cup of tea. I take both with me and find Solas in his own cabin. I knock.

"Come in."

I do so. "Just wanted to let you know that we are going to the Fallow Mire in the morning." I say as I set the tea and the note on his table (it says, 'the next time you try and spy, wolfy, do try not to be seen'). I walk back out, "I hope you enjoy the tea. Can you return the cup to Flissa before we leave? Thanks."