•LOVE ME MORE• Book 1

Chapter 1 •Part 1•

As I sit at the dinner table nervously waiting till my parents get home, I hear my friends cheering me on in my head, but I hear all of the other students laughing in my face. I could feel my heart beginning to beat rapidly due to my sudden anaxiety. I begin to second guess everything. Maybe I shouldn't say anything.

I hear I click on the front door, and my heart starts beating even faster. I jumped out of my seat and closed my eyes as I was about to speak, loud singing putting my body at ease.

"Hey weirdo, why are you just sitting there!?" My older brother Thomas asked me, yelling from the top of his lungs because his music was blasting from his earbuds. I don't know how he could listen to music that loud.

"I'm waiting for mom and dad to get home," I said nervously, fidgeting with my hands. He completely ignored me as he rummaged through the fridge like we had something other than chips and cereal.

"Why do you look like you are gonna shit yourself!?" He yells at me again.

"Did you not hear-" The front door clicked open again. It felt like slow motion when I saw them come home from their date. They looked happy and laughing.

"Hey, sweety, why do you look so down?" mother asked. I tried to relieve my nervousness by hugging them, but that didn't work. "Are you alright? Your heart is beating so fast. Did you drink any water today?"

"Yes mom, I'm fine," I assure her. I know she wasn't buying it. I looked to dad, who was fussing at Thomas about his music being so loud. That cheered me up a little.

"What's the matter, Ashton?" My mom holds my hands so tightly. This look in her eyes might be the last look she might ever give me. My father stands by her side. I looked up at him just like a friend, and if I told them both, I might never be able to.

"What up, Ash? You look like you have a lot on your mind." My father says.

"I do. It's just..."

"Yo, Brian is home!" Thomas suddenly yelled from the living room.

My oldest brother has been overseas for the past four years. And it is hard to talk to him because of the different time zones. when we get to speak, I can tell him everything, and he gives me the best advice. We became closer before he left for college and went into the military.

My parents and I ran to the front door to greet Brian, giving him much love. When he came to me and gave me a look wanting to know if I had said anything yet. I shook my head, and he embraced me. I felt like crying, but I didn't, not yet.

We gathered around in the living room and talked. Brian shared his stories of what it's like being away from his family. In the middle of his talking, his eyes kept looking at me.

"Have you meet any sexy girls yet?" Thomas asked. Brian hits him with his hat, and we all laugh.

"I'm not doing this to meet girls, you idiot."

"What the point then?" Thomas said, rolling his eyes, then went back to texting. Brian hits him a second time, and we laugh again.

I felt my father's eye wander over to me. I felt my whole body sink into my seat. I couldn't move. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Then all of my words came out at once.