Repairing Beyond Ambition - Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order fanfic *EDITING*

Chapter 21

"Cal?"

He shot upright, panting for air and looking wide eyed into the dark of the room – another nightmare. He felt an odd sensation of being hot and cold at the same time, figuring he tossed and turned so much that this action and the stress he went through made him sweat profusely. His eyes searched frantically, trying to find something to focus on until he made eye contact with the shine of Altheeda's eyes. She was knelt by his bedside, her bed-hair the only indicator that she had been woken from her sleep. He sighed when he met her gaze and slumped himself against the cool metal of the wall.

"Did I wake you?" A faint whisper of a voice left his lips.

"I was already awake; I was getting a drink." She replied softly. "You can have mine."

She picked it up from the ground and slipped it carefully into his hand, giving him a soothing smile before turning away to stride out the room silently, turning to give him one last glance before she left. He listened to her light footsteps quieten as her distance from the room increased. Anxiety was crushing his chest; his hands were clammy and he could feel the cup in his hand sliding ever so slightly in his palm. BD-1 then waddled into the room, switching on the lights as he entered. White noise began to create a pitchy buzz in his ears and he began to detest it. To his relief, Altheeda returned with another cup in hand then knelt by him once again.

"Drink it – if you want. It might make you feel better." She suggested.

He wordlessly brought the cold cup to his lips and felt the warm tea seep through the crevices of his lips and down his throat. The sensation drew him away from his worries momentarily and Altheeda noticed this as she drank her tea. She was poised, ready to speak when he was. She didn't know what he was going to say or what to say in response, but she wanted to try her hardest to help.

"Thank you." He spoke, gesturing with his hand that held the cup.

"Any time."

He fell silent again, his skin had paled and she could tell that his weariness was taking a toll on his confident demeanour he had displayed earlier in the day and evening. It was obvious he had a nightmare - after finding him mumbling and violently tossing in his sleep. She knew from her experiences that it was hard being asked about the topics of nightmares and wanted to steer away from that unless Cal was willing to share. He continued to drink his tea for a while and BD-1 made some noises at the quiet pair. Altheeda didn't mind in the silence in the slightest, just wanting to stay with him and make sure he was alright.

"Should I talk about it?" He asked awkwardly.

"Only if you'd like to, I'm just here to help you."

He rubbed his forehead exhaustedly and his hand fell loosely to his side. He took one final drink and set his cup to one side on the floor.

"You're not the only one that has a lingering past." He sighed.

"I know." She spoke sympathetically.

"I failed Prauf, I failed my Master."

"Cal, that's not true."

"I dream about it, almost every night. I can't even get away from it during the day because-"

He stopped suddenly to take another breath and released it gradually. She leaned closer to him and gave him a reassuring look.

"I keep getting those flashbacks during the day too. I feel... conflicted about them."

"Can I ask why?" She spoke cautiously.

"The flashbacks are of my Master. The memories are painful, but they help me re-learn what I've forgotten about the Force."