Four To The End Book Two (Marauders Era)

Chapter Forty - No One Screams Cuz It's Just Me

Remus couldn't move.

He couldn't breathe.

Couldn't anything.

Then it slammed into him, and he nearly vomited.

He was certain he misheard—had to have misheard—because they couldn't know, they couldn't know!!

It was impossible!

Because if they knew then that meant they only just now figured out, because they had been acting fine up until now, and if they only just figured out they wouldn't be around him and—and—

"Remus?" Sirius asked.

He had no idea how long he had been standing there in terrified silence but Sirius's voice broke him out of it. He wanted to just bolt. Out of the room, out of the castle. Just run all the way home to Wales where his family could quickly pack everything up and leave.

He thought he might just pass out.

But all he did was laugh.

It was a crazed sort of laugh, and it confused the other boys.

"He's... laughing?" Peter asked.

Remus took a few steps back, laughing that screwed up insane-not-amused laughter so hard he couldn't breathe. He wasn't sure why he was laughing, it was just an automatic response. He kept laughing until the tears started coming out and then he felt like he might just cry.

"Remus?" Sirius asked again, looking concerned.

He had to just play it cool, make it seem otherwise. Perhaps they didn't know-know, just guess. He could get out of this. Long enough to escape, at least. As long as the wolf inside of him didn't burst out like it wanted to.

"What?" he finally wheezed out, wiping his face off. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about?" His voice was squeaky, and it took a lot of effort not to scream.

Now they all looked unsure. Sirius dropped his arms, forehead scrunching. "Ooookay, I, uh, definitely hadn't planned for this reaction," he said, looking at the other two.

"What sort of reaction were—were you expecting?!" Remus gasped out, taking a couple more steps back. Soon he'd be up against a wall.

"Er..."

He slowly shook his head, pain filling him as he tried to push the wolf back down. It was getting very agitated, wanting to protect itself, wanting to lash out and destroy them so it could remain 'safe'. "You are all absolutely nutters!" he got out, wiping off his face again, the tears not stopping. "What next? Is James a vampire?"

"Remus," Sirius repeated, coming closer. "We know, okay? We know—"

"Know what?" Now he was snappish, and he regretted the tone. He needed—couldn't, couldn't sound too angry. Had to sound amused. "Is this your newest prank? Going around accusing people of—of—" His voice was rising against his will. It was getting harder to breath, too, and he had to take rapid breaths in. "—of—"

But he had no idea what else to say. The panic was taking over.

"—of—of—"

They had found out.

"—of—"

They had found out!!!!!

His nose itched then burned as he struggled not to sob.

"—of—of—"

He was just stammering the same word over and over. He took one last step back, against the wall now which made the wolf worse. Made him feel trapped.