Four To The End Book Two (Marauders Era)

Chapter Sixty-Two - Can't Catch Feelings If They Can't Catch Me

Remus didn't get much rest before supper, however he did head down to the Great Hall for a little bit of food before the study group started. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to go, but as tired as he felt he decided he should; he missed several classes and wanted to stay caught up. Outside the library, Aegis was sort of hovering around with his books clutched to his chest, and when he saw Remus his eyes lit up.

"I saw you at supper," he said, taking a step forward. "I was very pleased to see you out of the hospital wing so soon."

"Yeah, it wasn't so bad this time around," Remus said.

"I'm glad to hear it. I know last time was exceedingly rough for you."

Remus nodded, a little startled to realize it had been a month since finding out the Marauders knew! It felt like... well, sometimes it felt like it had been a lot longer, other times it felt shorter. So much had changed while so much had stayed the same...

"I tried to visit yesterday, however Madame Pomfrey said you were unable to have visitors," Aegis continued. He paused, seemingly trying to figure out how to ask what he wanted to. Finally, "Are you able to have visitors at all? I don't mean to pry, I'm just curious. If you cannot then I shan't try again."

"I—I can, sometimes," he said. "It depends. I need a lot of rest so there are times when I'm sleeping and she doesn't want to wake me up."

Aegis pierced him with his stare and Remus was a little worried he'd start asking questions about his illness. "All right... I'll try next time. Although, hopefully that won't need to be anytime soon. Or at all. Though I suppose that is wishful thinking..."

"Perhaps a bit, but hopefully," Remus agreed.

As they went into the library Remus wondered if Aegis or Lily—or anyone else—ever suspected the truth. That he was a monster... Did they believe his lies about his blood disease? About his mother? Neither of them seemed as adamant as Sirius used to be, so he really hoped they were just blindly accepting his word. Maybe he should try to look up diseases that would fit his situation in order to give it a name. He supposed he could make something up but there was always the chance of someone digging into his story and knew it would just cause more anxiety over it sounding believable enough... especially since he didn't really know much about diseases period.

After their studying session ended Remus didn't walk with Lily like he usually did. Instead, he wandered to the medical section of the library (seeing a couple copies of Your Body At Hogwarts but there was no way he'd ever be able to check it out without dying of embarrassment; buying from a stranger who wouldn't see him again was bad enough!) to look for some books on diseases. He found a really thick tome that listed out various illnesses and diseases with short summaries. A Compendium of Afflictions and Ailments. He tucked that under his arm then found another book called So You Want To Be A Healer. He took that one too, just in case he needed a cover for why he wanted the disease book.

Mr. Farrow glowered as Remus signed the cards, mumbling under his breath about kids checking out expensive, delicate books that were too advanced for them—obviously referring to the compendium.

Remus struggled to hold back a tart reply. If we're not supposed to check books out, what's the point of the library? he wanted to snap, but somehow managed not to. He thanked Farrow and stormed out of the library. Part of him did sorta understand Farrow's feelings about books being precious and needing to take the utmost care for them. The librarian's fears of sticky fingers and dripped food and uncaring students who messed up books were perfectly sound. After all, while there were plenty of spells to clean books, it was a precise, complicated magic (in order not to mess up the ink on the pages too). It was just... he seemed to take it too far. He should be encouraging learning instead of complaining about the kids, and if he had such a problem with kids then he shouldn't have taken the Hogwarts librarian position in the first place!