Four To The End Book Two (Marauders Era)

Chapter Sixty-Four - It's Just Allergies, Okay?

Author's note: internalized homophobia in this chapter

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"Has anyone come with you this time?"

Fawley's voice hit him the second he opened the door, though she didn't sound angry. Only curious.

"No ma'am," he said, shutting the door behind him. "Sirius has been studying books on Occlumency and Legilimency though. He's taking it..." Remus trailed off awkwardly.

Fawley smirked. "Seriously?"

Remus snorted, ducking his head. "Yes ma'am," he said, somehow managing not to laugh. He crossed the room and sat down on the couch. Things felt okay, this time. She wasn't giving off an angry aura and didn't sound tense or annoyed. "How... have you been...?"

"I've been well, thank you," she said, twisting her cane around. "I've thought a lot about things in the past two weeks. I want to make sure you understand..." Remus winced, expecting her to say something about being careful, or watching his friends, or whatever. "... how happy I am that you have such loyal friends."

"You... are?"

Fawley nodded. "I am. I know I haven't seemed it, and I still don't think it's safe that they know, however I also think it's not as terrible as I initially assumed. How have things been for you? How did last week go?"

Remus smiled now. "I like it when it's two nights, although the second night was so cloudy I didn't change."

Miss Fawley settled back against the couch. "I know those are very rough. Morrigan always told me she preferred it when she transformed to the nights she didn't."

Remus sat very still. Miss Fawley never talked about her sister, not like this. The only times she mentioned her were in tandem with warnings about the Black family.

"Did she have n-nightmares too?" he whispered, afraid to ask, afraid of upsetting her.

Fawley's face softened. "Not like you do," she said and Remus twitched. "Though on the clouded full moon nights she said she was plagued by awful night terrors any time she tried to sleep. They didn't... really affect her outside those nights, not like you, but... I know they were horrible on those nights."

"They are bad," Remus agreed, feeling strange that regular nightmares weren't something that happened to all werewolves. He wanted to ask more—ached with curiosity about other werewolves—but Fawley was shaking her head, suggesting they start.

The session didn't go amazing but it wasn't too terrible. He still managed the wet paper towel barrier that didn't take much to push through, and he had a vicious headache as seven o'clock approached. He also felt the slight jealousy of Sirius rise up again which he did his best to tamp down.

The final memory they went through was the other night, when Remus panicked from his intrusive thoughts and went running all over the school. Fawley couldn't see his actual thoughts, couldn't see what had been going on in his head, so when they emerged from the memory she gave him a very curious look. From the outsider perspective it looked like he freaked out over nothing.

"I... ahh..." How could he explain? He didn't want to share the horribly weird thoughts that had popped into his head at that moment. He was very glad Occlumency didn't seem to dredge up random thoughts, like the image he had had of him and Sirius kissing—nonono don't, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! He swallowed, then began talking again. "I got sc—scared. It's still difficult... for me to deal with the, um, fact, the fact they know." He tugged at his sleeve, hoping that sounded believable.