Just A Little More

The Plead

12. Just A Little More

...

My mind is blank.

I feel like I'm falling into a cliff.

I looked down at him. He's sitting on the floor shocked written all over his face. I don't how long I've been staring at him.

My eyes are reflected on his, its blank, cold and too dark. I can't even recognize if it's really mine.

Bahagya kong tinagilid ang ulo ko para mapagmasdan sya ng mabuti. I chuckled without humor, how could it be possible you see nothing when you're not even blind?

"You are too nosy for a guy"

I can't recognize my voice too. Too much coldness. This is not me. I'm getting scared. I'm losing it. Losing myself.

Before I completely lost my sanity I walked away.

I stopped from my tracks when an arms embraced me from behind.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry"

She kept repeating those words.

Reality hits me. It hits me so damn hard.

Unti-unti na akong bumabalik sa sarili ko. Nang makasiguro ako na kalmado na ako saka ko sya hinarap. Kahit na madilim kita ko pa rin ang bakas ng luha nya.

"I'm so sorry, hindi ka sana pinilit naming sumama" she whispered suppressing herself from sobbing.

"Ako ang may nagawang mali so stop apologizing"

She shook her head violently.

"No. It was that jerk fault. I know you, Re. You're not the type that would get into a fight. He must did something, something terrible"

"Kahit na. Hindi ko pa rin dapat sinaktan yung tao. Kahit saang parte ko tingnan may mali pa rin ako. You should get inside I'll just take some air before I apologize to him"

Suddenly her face became serious. Her fingers went to my face.

"Why apologize to him? He don't deserves it" pagtututol nito.

"I resorted to violence Shan. I shouldn't have"

She opened her mouth but closed it afterwards. She sighed and looked at me defeatedly. Ginantihan ko na lang ito ng tipid na ngiti. Alam kong masama pa rin ang loob nya pero tama naman ang lahat ng sinabi ko.

"Can you think of yourself first before others? I can't stand it, Re. Don't expect me to just watch you, I don't care if you're right or wrong because everything that matters to me is you"

I feel my heart aching in every words that she says. Sincerity is all I can read from her.

"Then can I kiss you?" I whispered.

She looks taken aback, nonetheless a heartwarming smile escaped in her alluring lips. The coldness of night is nothing to the warmth she's giving me.

She closed the gap between us, her lips touched mine and for the second time tonight I can't think straight.

Kahit gaano kalakas ang ingay sa loob ng bahay ay tanging tibok ng puso ko ang pumapaibabaw.

Ito ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon na humiling ako sa kanya ng ganito. Even for just a little while I want to disobey my reasonings. Just for little time I want to be selfish. Is that too much to ask?

Naiwan ako dito sa labas. Sa huli ay napilit ko si Shan na bumalik na sa loob at sinabing susunod na lang ako. I just need air. I need to think.

Tumingala ako, seeing a quarter moon. Yet it still resplendent.