Small Town Boys | JANTHONY

The talk

Anthony's POV

Griffin had arrived and we were all walking into the restaurant, this time a Mexican place. I kept waiting, looking around. I needed an opportunity to talk to Jaden, alone. I kept trying to signal at Josh and Griffin but it was not working. After a bit i finally texted them, as their phones binged, a look of understanding crossed their faces.

Griffin spoke. "Hey, josh and i are gonna head out, he has to go back to school early"

"Bye" turning to josh "I'll see you back at school" and hopefully my eyes had conveyed that i'd tell him everything then.

After Jaden and I finished our meals and went to the car. I internally cringed, it was time. How i phrased this statement was key, i didn't want to offend him or make him think I didn't like him. 

As he turned the key and engine rumbled i put my hand on top of his. Effectively turning the car back off. He looked at me with a confused look. And thats when i started talking.

"Listen Jaden, i have something to say. I don't want you to take it the wrong way, or get upset but i have to say it. You keep treating me like i'm fragile, about to break. And the thing is im not, i've been dealing with my parents and kids from school my entire life, i don't need you to swoop in like superman. But thats not too say i dont like you defending me, its just sometimes when you defend me i don't need defending and it can actually make the situation worse. Like when you punched that kid before lunch, if i had just ignored it nothing bad would have happened, but now he's going to be way more agro to me when you aren't around." i paused looking at Jaden's face, seeing if it was going across the way i wanted. Sadly it didn't seem to be, the easiest emotion to read was guilt, so i changed my tone. "But Jaden, its not your fault you didn't mean for anything to happen. And its not gonna be bad at all. And i love it when you defend me just maybe not all the time" i trailed off, his look hadn't changed. I gestured indicating that he should speak.

He lifted up his hand, i was bracing for a response, and he just started the car. He drove me back to school without saying a single word, dropping me off with no form of goodbye. 

Josh pounced on me as soon as i entered the school but i had nothing to say. I was dumbfounded, that had not at all gone any of the ways i expected. It hadn't even gone the way i scared about, but somehow this was worse. Because i had no idea what he was feeling or what to do about it.

Jaden's POV

I drove myself back to the bar, i was in a haze not thinking clearly. All i knew was i had two options, weed or basketball. I chose the latter, grabbing my ball and heading right back out the door without even changing. 

Eventually the rhythm of the pounding dribbles got my brain working again. I started thinking about what Anthony said, was i being over-protective? Did i actually do things that were hurting him not helping him? I was his boyfriend, i was supposed to protect him yet everything i was doing was doing harm. I couldn't wrap my brain around it, so i just compartmentalized.

I was just playing basketball, not thinking about all of my issues, just working on my shot. My biggest deal was trying to perfect the left handed sky hook. 

At some point i noticed my phone pinging and more importantly not stopping. Texts from Griffin and what looked to be Josh. Hmm weird, i didn't know he had my number. 

The ones from Griffin and Josh said relatively the same thing, they were both yelling at me for doing something to Anthony. I scrolled down looking for Anthony, but he hadn't texted me. Meaning i had really fucked up, he had shared his feelings with me and i fucking pushed him away again. I was hurting him more than helping him. It was obvious was i had to do. But i would do it in person.

I walked to his house and knocked on the door, luckily he answered and not his parents. But he didn't run into my arms and hug me. So yeah i had definitely hurt him, but i was going to keep hurting him, i didn't deserve him. So i said the three words, the words i hated but were necessary. 

"We're breaking up" i couldn't stay and see how the word affected him, i had to go. So i did. I ran as fast as i could like the fucking coward i was. 

Hey y'all sorry this chapter was pretty short, but i felt the need to post now. And also one other thing, as many of you know there is a large black lives matter movement going on. I myself am white but i have still be supporting them because this is a necessary movement. So many African Americans are getting killed by police for absolutely no reason. So if possible please donate, sign petitions, and protest because this needs to change. Go to mapping police violence and just look at the stats its not okay. Anyway i'm sorry for talking about this on here, but it needs to be said every way for change to happen.