i'm really fucking sick of this now
like
i hate this tension that being apart causes
i hate people having problems w me for something that i don't know i've done
i hate being stuck inside
it's literally been two months since someone's hugged me
i miss physical contact
i miss being able to hold people that i care about
but now i'm so used to being inside i start to panic when i think about seeing people again
i paid for my prom ticket the other day (if that will ever happen) and immediately freaked out because i've put on weight and i have nothing to wear and no money and i don't want to see my year group again
i don't want to go back to school when my friends are all in university and i'm on my own
i feel like life has no purpose anymore
all that happens is that i go from happy to sad to numb and back again
and i don't know how to deal with it anymore
because i don't want anyone else to know now, i've bothered them enough
nothing can actually hold my attention now
i can't sit down and do anything
this doesn't even make me feel better anymore
