i'm frightened of spending time in my own head now
most of the time i get on quite agreeably with myself
sure i'm ignoring most of the bigger problems but i throw myself into everything and make it work
being stuck in isolation is a different story.
i saw my friends on wednesday
it was the first time the eight of us have seen all of us together since march, on the last day of school
and it was so needed
we got very drunk- i'm a sappy drunk i discovered, but i didn't get anything worse than tipsy
and i also don't have a shot face i just stay blank which is disappointing but satisfying at the same time
social distancing went out the window at the end of it as we all started crying and hugging each other
..it was the first hug i'd had since the last day of school
it's okay though as none of us are seeing other people, so it's a rather large bubble
but fast forward two days later and i'm reading into texts and my head makes up that they're being blunt or that they're sick of me or that i've done something wrong
when they were literally crying because they don't want to go to uni and leave me and the others behind
i hate it here
i'm frightened about what goes on in my own head
i'm worried one day i won't be able to distinguish what's real and what's not
i'm frightened that i'll start believing what i'm thinking and do something i shouldn't
can someone get me out?
