years have passed since fiona divorced shrek.
the ogre princess left him and ran away with some unknown man with an impressive mustache. shrek has turned to drinking as a coping mechanism. his friend, puss in boots, had drifted away from him after starting his polygamous cult in the far far away reaches of far far away kingdom. pinocchio, though happily married now with two kids, cut all ties with shrek after the incident that caused fiona to leave. gingy died in a car accident and the group had never been the same afterwards.
the only one who stayed with him... the only one who stuck by his side... was donkey. he was sleek, agile, had a charmingly lopsided grin. his grey coat of fur gleamed in the sun as he rose out from the swamp pond outside shrek's house.
"hey shrek, would ya knock off the heavy liqour, buddy? you're developing an addiction to alcohol and it's not HEALTHY man."
shrek chugged another bottle down the hatch. "fuck off." he grumbled gruffly, jaded and bitter after how life treated him. it was true though. shrek was a raging alcoholic. and donkey was his light in the darkness. the darkness called society. and the light called homoerotic tension.
while clutching the empty bottle with regret, he couldn't help but catch a look at his four-legged friend. he had become much stronger and built over the past few years. after serving a few years in the far far away navy, his physical form had reached a peak. his strong jaw was even more defined under the shadows of the swampy willows, yet his shimmering eyes shone through even the darkest of darks. his heart leapt up into his throat once donkey stared him dead on. his piercing blue eyes, striking brow, that smile.... that damn smile.
"eh, shrek. whatcha looking at there, man?" he asked
shrek blushed and crossed his arms, huffing. "n-nothing... baka...."
"whatever you say, man."
donkey sat down next to shrek. the sound of his ass cheeks hitting the dirt echoed through the swamp with a juicy slap.
shrek pp get hard. donkeh notice.
"eh shrwek why pp hard huh>>>>??????"
"i was thinking abt fiona.............................. my first and only love........... hic hic wah wahhhh."
"oh no thats not baller."
donkey sat upright and smiled. he had an idea. "i have an idea."
"whats that, donkeh?"
"i'm taking you out tonight, just the two of us. it's boys night!"
shrek was flabergasted. "b-b-b-b-boys night????"
"yeah! you need to get over fiona and i know exactly how."
donkey picked the ogre up and ran down the swamp path at top speed. shrek blushed profusely and hid his face with his hands. "h-his arms... so big and muscular." shrek though as he stroked donkey's forearms. "B-B-BAKA!!! LET ME GO!!!!" he shrieked, now too embarrassed to carry on. when donkey set him down, they were already in far far away city.
"man, you're fucking weird you know that right?"
"yes i KNOW i'm weird i'm QUIRKY and DIFFERENT."
nonetheless, donkey led shrek into the nearby dance club. their adventure was just beginning....
