Digging up old memories

Chapter 8

Jane's POV

This morning was the same as the other mornings these past three days. Things hadn't boiled over like he thought they would. They had simply changed. She was different. He was used to dealing with Lisbon's anger and even hurt feelings... but this... this was new. She was acting indifferent to him, detached... very polite actually... like he was a stranger. He thought maybe she was faking it, but if she was, he couldn't pick up on it. He'd heard about her break up with Pike from Fischer... he thought that maybe he'd won by consolation – that she would stay, but Abbott pulled him into his office earlier to let him know that she'd put in for a transfer to D.C. – she'd accepted the new position.

He sat on his couch, feeling numb, the tea cooling in his cup. He couldn't drink it. He felt stuck with a moral dilemma... maybe it was time to let her go... that's what a good person would do. What could he do anyway to get her to stay. He'd already tried to change and be the man he thought she wanted him to be. He thought he was being pretty tame these last few months actually... but she wasn't happy, and neither was he. It wasn't working. He reminded himself that people can't change their true self... not even for someone they cared about, and he'd lost sight of that. It's time he accepted that he was a thief and con and would always be – it was his nature after all, how he was raised and all he knew how to be.

He drummed his fingers on the armrest of the couch staring nowhere in the bullpen. Since the new Jane wasn't cutting it, the old Jane might fare better... it was time to embrace his full self, the one that didn't care what others thought about him, the driven one.

A few days later...

Cho was giving him his best stare down and Fischer was yelling to him. He'd just solved the case, but he left quite a mess, apparently. He felt a little bad for Cho, he knew he was snippy and downright condescending with his colleagues. He thought he'd feel better being the old Jane, but it didn't seem to fit quite right either. He'd lost all patience for the game of catching criminals. He dropped his antics as they had requested and showmanship and just went for the jugular – outing criminals and causing havoc without his usual finesse. He knew he was being insolent, but he didn't care. He'd lost the taste for what he was doing because it didn't have the same meaning without her.

He'd missed her these last few days... she was MIA from this case because she was prepping to leave in a few days.

Well, the old Jane wouldn't let Lisbon off the hook, so he strode back into headquarters and headed off to find her. They had things to settle before she left.

He found her at her desk in the bullpen.

"Good evening, Lisbon," he said cheerily.

"Hi," she said without looking him. "I heard you solved the case and left a mess."

Cho must have called her already. "It's what they pay me for, isn't it? Solve cases," he said with fake brightness in his voice. "I don't have to slap on bow on it, do I? You didn't have it easy, why should they?"

He leaned on her desk determined to get a rise from her... done being Mr. Nice Guy, or his version of it I guess.

"We need to talk you and me," he said.

"No, we don't," she said and returned her attention to her screen.

He moved closer until he was in her space.

"Yes, we do. I know you're going to D.C., that you broke up with Pike and I'm not letting you leave until we sort this out between us," he said leaning in so Wiley couldn't hear him.

"I'm done talking Jane," she said, inching away from him.

"Well I'm not. We can do it here in the bullpen," he said at normal voice to which Wiley turned around and looked in their direction. "Or... you can follow me to the office back there and talk to me. Your choice," he said with his best smile.

It worked. Lisbon pushed angrily from her desk, pasted a fake smile and marched towards the office. Everyone had left except for Wiley who was waiting on Cho and Fischer to return so they could file the paper work on the case. It was 8:15 pm. This was perfect – he had time.

He locked the door behind them as she turned to face him.

She folded her arms across her chest and cocked her head up to stare him down.

So, he stared her down too. It felt so good to shed his mask and be himself again.

He smiled at her to unnerve her... she was so beautiful when she was mad.

Her eyes were shooting sparks at him and her jaw was set tight.

Yep, he was going to enjoy the next few minutes with his grumpy princess.

He moved closer into her space. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he was sure that talking was the last thing he needed to do now.

She didn't move.

He moved closer again until she had to raise her chin higher to look in his eyes.

Their bodies were practically touching, just a whisper of space between them.

"I know what you did," she said suddenly.

"What did I do?" he asked curiously.

"The letters, the gifts, this whole charade," she said not giving up her ground.

He sucked in a breath. "That's what's got you so upset?" he asked. This made no sense. If anything, this knowledge gave her the upper hand on him. Why was she acting like the injured party? If she knew what he did, then she must know how much he cared for her and how much he'd missed her.

"You played me for a fool. Conned me! You bet that's why I'm upset... but you know what? I'm over it. It's all good. You are, who you are, and you no longer have any more power over me. I'm going to D.C. and soon I will be free of you and your games," she said smugly.

"Played you for a fool? I carefully planned the biggest trick I've ever pulled to get the FBI to give YOU your career back and I played YOU for a fool! Months of careful planning because I knew that I had to make it up to you for blowing up your career, something I knew meant EVERYTHING to you and you're upset with me!" he said incredulously.

"Pft! You expect me to believe that?" she said... but she didn't appear as confident when she it.

He saw her eyes shift from his forehead to his eyes. She didn't want to hold his gaze, so he closed the gap between them and grabbed her face with both his hands.

"Yeah. That's exactly what I expect you to believe because it's the truth," he said. He looked into her green eyes and he saw the mistrust there... always the mistrust.

He didn't know why he was so close to her, but he couldn't help himself. He'd missed her so much. He leaned his forehead against hers.

"I also missed you like crazy. After only a week on that island I knew had to get back to you somehow," he confessed. She smelled so good and he could feel her breath on his lips.

He felt something warm and wet on his hands. It was her tears.

"You could have just told me your plan," she whispered.

He leaned in and kissed her lips gently. She kissed him back hesitantly and then pulled out of his hold.

"I have to go," she said and left him standing there completely confused about what had just happened.