Guilty Pleasures of Life

00 | prologue

💫Beginning with the Pleasures💫

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The beautiful dawn set its first rays of light, brightening everything up as we are facing now a new day before us.

A curtain of light embraced everything around the environment. The palettes of color shifted from dark colors to bright ones.

Trees glistened with beads of rainwater. The wind was blowing gently the grass embroidering it into a fine green carpet. Flowers of each color of the rainbow were blooming again as if it was their first spring. Animals of all kinds were waking up from their peaceful slumber, ready to live their days in the woods as always.

Every day it was different because I was faced with a new canvas of subtle changes, that only the artist notices.

This was a good feeling. That of being able to be reborn the way you are, as something in you changes and another thing erases. This was my image of a beautiful sunrise. But nature doesn't erase her things. She keeps them as her relics and antiques. Things that are well hidden for us humans sooner or later are going to be discovered.

So, in a way, they aren't exactly called changes.

I always loved the way nature wakes up. Wanting to witness it all the time, I hid in the night and waited for the magical moment to happen over and over again.

This time, however, I longed to experience the feeling of recreation.

Maybe it's a way to heal yourself from your scars. Breaking out of my routine I went out into the first dawn of sunlight. Scared, I patiently waited and let myself to be faced with the new day. Light ignited through nature. Grazing each spec of material and mass. As it was coming down ready for me to feel irenic with myself, suddenly it stopped its way arriving on me.

Confused, by that, I wondered...

Why?

Disappointed I laid myself down the grass.

Not today.

Of course, not why did I even think this would work? It isn't that easy to escape from your everyday struggles and problems. I had to face them every day. I never let anything out, to anyone. I have a tough shell to breakthrough. Deep inside I'm fragile and struggling to fight.

How do I exactly fight?

One of the main reasons for my closed and secretive personality is the simplest reason of all. I can't tell. Not because it's an impossible problem to handle. It's the exact opposite. I can't tell, because these problems aren't really problems. I know they're just me thinking too deeply into life and all.

Or maybe it's just a phase I have to go through and everyone will get over it eventually.

So, I'd just be wasting people their time listening to my rambling forever.

But why is it that I still can't get over them? Is this thing that hard? What made me to be like this? I guess it's a new day to discover something new.

I need to write it to someone.

Getting out of my notebook and placing it in my hands, I thought of what to put in it this time. It's the place where I draw abstract doodles, write song lyrics, and yeah now it's going to be deep emotional trash.

Maybe it could help.

Gently flickering through the pages of the notebook, I opened it to a fresh new page. Resting the pen between the fingers of my hand, I wrote a special heading.

"What's going on in your mind today?"

This was my first entry and it signed the first event that made me dig deeper into everything for answers.

First entry: A tearful goodbye...