Guilty Pleasures of Life

14 | to the ones i look up to

💫Fourteenth Pleasure💫

Dedicated to the ones who raised me an entire life

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Everybody loves their parents which is the ideal symbolism for our lifeline, our home, our shelter. They're the reason we live. They're the main reason I live. As I'm grateful that they're giving life, love and so much more to me. They do so much for us, yet I seem to do little to none for them and that's a fact that's suffocating me every day. I'm not sure I express my gratitude towards them enough as it's something I need to do.

Both of my parents are excellent role models to me, believe it or not. Advises that enlighten my path when I feel I have a dead end in front of me. Comfort and warmth that seeps through my heart when it needs a gentle hold making me feel ten times better all held in a parently embrace. Care that is evident through every little gesture and through every 'I love you'.

And all in all, I wonder...

How do they really do it? How are they like that?

I'm not like that at all.

I actually found myself, one day somehow asking them on how do they do it. You know like how can you become the perfect parent.

It all comes naturally. That was what they said. All I could guess was that it was all born within'.

They are my inspiration for becoming a better person every day. Because they are everything to me, they give everything to me. All I want to do is to repay their kindness and love back. In my darkest times I find myself recalling my mother's advice, thus giving me enough strength to overcome the endless hurdles. Even my dad helps me on finding the correct way while it's covered by the blanket of insecurities as we have a little pep talk, which can always hint towards a philosophical discussion.

Yes, both of my parents know about my perplexing thoughts and I find myself having a nice discussion with them whenever I feel insecure, but honestly, this doesn't happen all the time. I feel that maybe they're just busy and really don't have the nerve to listen to what I say, but when I do say what I have inside sometimes what they say it is the right thing, sometimes it isn't as they overreact a bit, but this is just my opinion.

But it's always best if you talk to someone first about your problems. It's best if you head yourself first to your parents in all cases.

I do the same too.

Parents always understand their children and kids, but they don't seem to understand their problem that well. Maybe sometimes I feel like this is a test from them to see if we can face the outer world and in order to escape we use their advice they've given to us beforehand. Although a flaw of mine is that I should always take in their words of maturity whether they have any
connection with my topic or not.

I do take them and throughout all my life I use them the main pillar into forming then acting out a decision. They also say it's the teen phase that we're reckless, rebellious, adventurous, and all that's why we tend to male mistakes which is ok, because, in the end, they'll be there for us.

I only live once though, but I want to live alongside my parents as well. I do prefer the second option. Really though they are undescribable words and feelings if somebody comes up to you and tells you to talk about your parents. But I feel like this all I can muster up about before I have a mental breakdown to see if I've said all there is to my heart for them.

Then again each day I find a new reason to look up to my parents, to really make me follow their example, to love them. I hope I can do as many things as possible that results in me caring about them as they did to me. I'm also grateful to my grandparents as well. They had a huge part in raising me when I was a kid and I can say I am close with them too.

Besides that, I'm grateful that they've risen my parents so well and implanted on them core mechanics that educated and made them who they are today. But I guess my gratitude would never enough unless I go all the way up to my genealogical family roots. Indeed my ancestors were the seed of all and I feel lucky more than honored to be a part of this never-ending legacy.

I tend to pick up as many characteristics from others as possible, work hard as my parents have over the years, fight hard and sacrifice so much as my grandparents did just so that their children and possibly grandchildren can have a better future, be as accurate as possible with people in friendships and potential relationships.

Everything so it can iron my confused and really sensitive character into something that will be needed for later facing everything head-on with courage, no regrets, and with no drama whatsoever. What makes weak today, will make us be powerful tomorrow.

No matter what the family is precious and nobody can change that fact. It is a motive that ignites deep inside of me to lunge forward at everything, that makes everything impossible possible. But also somewhere I can rely on and call wholeheartedly home.

They're another reason why I want to discover myself.