The Dare Game ✔️

Sweet Release.

(A/N): Trigger Warning, uncomfortable topics to do with mental health.

COURTNEY'S POV:

When I got home to me and Bridgette's apartment, Geoff, Heather and Alejandro were already there. There were banners, confetti and a lot of beer.

Only a certain green mohawk was missing.

I shook the thoughts out of my head, and plastered on my now perfected fake 'I'm happy' face.

'Wow, you guys! You didn't have to, really!' And I forced a grin.

'You deserve it Court, now come on, get a can and come join us, we're gonna watch scary movies!' Geoff slurred, already drunk.

I didn't want to.

I really didn't want to.

I wanted to go lay on my bed. To count how many extra calories I've eaten this week. To calculate how many days I'll have to go without food again to become skinny. I'm 100% sure I gained weight. I didn't exercise the week I stayed in the hospital, and I ate...quite a lot. Right? I'm sure of it. I wanted to be sick. To force myself to be sick.

'Sure!' I squealed, and sat down on the floor with them.

I can't even remember what we were watching. I just remember the words fat fat fat fat fat fat swimming through my brain. When I moved an arm or leg, it felt like I was trying to move it through a wall of jello.

My brain was barely functioning, my eyelids were heavy. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kneel to the floor and scream.

I stayed and watched a bunch of stupid bad comedy-halloween movies, obediently took a slice of pizza, planning to throw it all up later anywyas. A good 5 hours later,I informed them I was tired, and that I was going to bed.

I lay in my bed, exhaustion running through my veins, but unable to sleep. 2 hours later, I heard a door slam, and a couple 'byes' drifting in the air.

By now, it was late, and I got out of bed, padding my way to the small kitchen me and Bridge share for a hot water bottle. I stop short when I hear Geoff's voice.

'But babe...' he whined

'No. You know i can't...' there was desperation dipped in her voice.

'Can't Heather move in with her?'

They were talking about me.

'You know Heather can't, she has work on the other side of town, she can't run her beauty salon living miles away.'

I'm holding them back.

'But babe, I want you to come live with me...start our own family, Bridge.' I could tell by his tone of voice he was upset.

'No Geoff, not now. She can't be alone, she just left hospital, and the whole Scott thing..and..' I could hear muffled sobs.

'Sorry I bought it up.'he whispered, I could barely make out what they were saying now.

I did this.

I'm a horrible person.

I shuffled into the room, as if nothing ever happened, as if I wasn't just outside the door, listening.

I smiled at them, ignoring Brdigettes attempts to look happy. 'Just getting the hot water bottle.' I paused.''oh, and Bridge,' I mustered up the best happy face I could.'you can sleep over at geoff's tonight if you want, don't worry about me i'm fine'

'Are you sure? Because...' Geoff cut her off, pulling me into his arms. I tensed.

'Thanks Mocha.' He let go, oblivious to my panic and discomfort. Bridgette grabbed her jacket and began to call an uber.

'I'll be back tomorrow afternoon-ish. Bye Court, call me if you need me.' and she dragged the drunk Geoff out of the door to the uber.

I waved bye until they shut the door, I waved bye, I kept standing there until I heard their uber, heard the car doors slamming, heard the car driving away, the hum of a distant engine.

Only then did I allow myself to fall to the floor and curl up into a little ball, wailing and crying and sobbing.

FAT FAT FAT FAT. DIE DIE DIE DIE. YOU'VE RUINED YOUR FRIENDS LIVES. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. YOUR A BAD PERSON.

I put my hands on my ears. Only, the problem is you can't block out your own thoughts. I did the last thing I could think of, the one person who I really wanted to speak to. The one person who I know understands.

I scrolled through my contacts, my hand shaking, fingers trembling, chest heaving with sobs. I found his name, and called it. It rang once, twice, three times.

'Hello?' A sleepy voice called out. I swallowed.

'Hello?' He repeated.

'Duncan?' I whispered.

'Is this... Courtney?' He asked, sounding surprised and worried. 'What's wrong?'

'Can you...' I gasped for air through my sobs 'Come over?'

'Princess, I need you to tell me your address' I heard rustling and movement. 'can you say it slowly and clearly enough for me to understand?' He asked. The sound of a door slamming. More rustling. An engine of some kind. I told it to him, as clearly as I could muster in my current state.

'On my way' and he terminated the call.

I was left alone. I hated being alone. I wanted someone to hold me. At the same time I didn't. I just wanted to curl up and die. I didn't want to live. I was a burden to everyone I knew, everything I do is always wrong, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself...

My thoughts were interrupted with a banging on the door. I couldn't get up. I felt drained. I just sobbed quietly by the door, Duncans desperate words just washing over me, not being processed by my brain.

Suddenly, his words vanished completely. I stopped crying, then resumed again.

I push everyone away, I deserve to be alone..

I heard a sudden thud, and then the patter of feet. I tensed.

'Princess?' It was Duncan. Even though I ignored him, got him out of bed in the middle of the night, he still managed to slip in.

He wanted to help.

I needed to start accepting help.

I remained in my curled position on the floor, looking like a helpless mess.

He crouched next to me. 'Need a hug?' he smiled. I nodded, trying to smile. He cradled me in his arms, and for the first time in ages, I felt safe. I rubbed my head into his chest, and felt my breathing steady, my shoulders stop shaking.

My eyelids were drooping. I could feel him carrying me to my room. He laid me down, then made his way out. I grabbed his sleeve, tugging.

DUNCAN'S POV:

'Stay with me' she mumbled.

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A/N:

Okay this was originally going to have more in it but the chapter got too long.

I'll be writing another chapter maybe uhh, tomorrow?

Maybe. Maybe not. I wrote some of these passages while crying about other things, so if I let slip something that's like off topic just tell me cuz I'm too tired to edit this chapter.

I really want to sleep.