Thy Art | Park Seonghwa

7.6

TW; Mentions of anxiety, panic from triggered trauma.

( 🎵 Etham – 12:45, stripped version. )

"Yunhee, mommy's going to have to leave now, take care of your sister, alright?"

"Dad... he left... all of his stuff is gone, he only left this envelope behind..."

"Yunhee.... it's Kai..."

"He's.. gone.."

"It was.... a car accident. Yunhee, I'm so sorry.."

"Is this Ms. Hwang Yunhee I'm speaking to?"

"We're calling from Seoul University Hospital. There has been a car accident and..."

The cold air from inside the hospital slapped her face the moment she entered through the automatic door. It was chaotic and from it she could already tell that it wasn't a single car accident. There were nurses running around, parents crying out of worry for their children by one corner. It was worse that the woman by the front desk still had no idea then, how many of those brought in, could be labelled as fine. The accident had only happened less than two hours ago.

Yunhee could feel her heart pounding in her ears, as if every beat was resonating through the room. Even after she sat herself down by corner of the waiting area, she could still hear it so clearly. He left. He's gone. Mommy have to leave now. He's gone. It was a car accident. Yunhee, I'm sorry. He's gone. He's gone. It was a car accident, he didn't even make it to the hospital. The words kept repeating inside her head like a broken stereo, with each time clearer than the last and before she knew it, her hand was already shaking as she pressed her face on her palm.

The air was becoming thicker and thicker, with her occasionally rubbing her hand against the sweatpants she had worn to get the clamminess off. But nothing was helping. Nothing was stopping her heart from racing at miles per hour, nothing was stopping the air escaping her lungs and never coming back, nothing could stop her throat from closing up. Yunhee was hunched over on her sit, her hand slowly working its way to scrunch the fabric of her shirt by the collar.

She jumped slightly when she could feel a hand gripping her shoulder. Her head shooting up for her eyes to meet a pair of brown orbs looking back at her with nothing but concern. He crouched down infront of her, hand placed lightly on her cheeks as his thumb caressing against the skin gently.

"Hw..hwa," she managed to stutter, "I.. I can't..."

"Ssshhh," his voice was gentle, and at that moment, the only thing that can go through the loud thudding of her heart, "it's okay, you're okay. Just take deep breaths for me, yeah?"

Seonghwa's words were the only trail that followed through, the only thing that guided her out of the dark, out of the loudness of her head. And when he saw her breathing slowly getting less frantic, he quickly picked himself up to sit beside the lass, pulling her into his arms immediately after. She was holding onto his arms, as if scared at any moment she was going to drown again.

"They're going to be okay too," he reassured, palm gently stroking her hair, "the three of them are one of the strongest bunch I know."

The lad could feel his sleeves getting soaked but he let it be, let her cry all of it out while she still wanted to. And they stayed like that for minutes, until he could feel her stop shaking which meant her sobs would've subsided as well.

"I'm scared," she mumbled against his hold, "people around me keep leaving. One by one."

He loosened his arms around her, before making her look up to him with both his hands cupping her cheeks. "None of us are leaving you. I won't ever and same goes for Jongho, Hongjoong, Jiwon and the rest," he forced out a smile, doing it anyway even when he knew she would notice at moments like these, lifting those lips up are heavier than lifting bricks, "they're going to be okay."

It was only forever after that they could finally hear something from the doctor. Yunhee was still trying to calm herself down with her head rested on Seonghwa's shoulder but she already had to prepare herself for whatever she was going to hear.

"Are you Ms. Hwang Jiwon's sister?" she nodded to the query, hands clasped and clammy placed in front of her. Seonghwa had his arms around her, holding her close as he knew she was nervous. "She sat at the back, took some of the hit from the side but aside from a broken arm, she's going to be fine soon."

"What about her...?" the brown-haired girl couldn't say the word but the doctor thankfully had caught onto what she was going to say.

"We ran some tests and everything looked okay," the older man gave her a reassuring smile, earning a sigh from the girl, "and may I know which patient are you related to, young man?"

"Kim Hongjoong," he immediately answered, "and Choi Jongho. They were in the same car."

"Are you their family?"

"N..no," he hesitantly answered, "but I'm a close acquaintance."

Both of the younger could see the doctor contemplate for a second before finally opening his mouth again. "Mr. Kim has a concussion and Mr. Choi, he broke his left arm and leg. But that should be the only wounds they have to heal from. Those two aside, they're going to recover in no time."

A huge sigh of relief left both of their mouths and after the doctor told them they would be notified of when they could visit, Yunhee felt like both her legs were no longer able to support her weight as she sat back down on the chair.

She once again bury her face in her palm and she could feel Seonghwa patting her back. "Would this be a bad time to tell you I told you so?"

"Probably," she nodded, looking up at him. But even without her having to say, she knew how he already figured how grateful she was of the five words he repeated. They sat in silence for a while, both leaned back on the chair before she cut through it with something that once again brought up their barrier.

"You know you can go home and rest then come back tomorrow right?" he looked at her momentarily, tilting his head.

"I can't just leave you here alone," he replied.

"It's alright," she assured, "you look like you need a good sleep."

He looked down, leaning limp. "I don't think going home would give me a good sleep," he muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"I'm not leaving," he repeated once more.

"Hwa..," she trailed, "your eye bags could carry my groceries."

Are you trying to push me away? The nightmares are back, you don't know that right? he tied his own tongue, not wanting to say those words to her. "Both of their parents are out of town, you know?" he paused for a second before continuing, "they need someone to be there when they come to. Besides, I had coffee earlier."

"You... had coffee?" she was doubting his words hard. She knew how much he hated coffee, how the only time he loved it is when he tasted it in her mouth.

Seonghwa was save from having to make something up to support his lie by the nurse who told them they could go inside to visit.

The man followed behind her when she went into Jiwon's, somehow a little confused as he could've went to either Jongho's or Hongjoong but she was drained out of her mind, enough for her to allow him to just do whatever.

Jiwon wasn't awake just yet and that didn't leave any peace of mind to Yunhee. But Seonghwa, was in fact, exhausted. It didn't take him long to doze off beside her. His head hanging and soft snores coming out of his mouth. A smile instinctively made its way towards her lips and she leaned back, lifting his head up to place it on her shoulder, in attempts to prevent his neck from being sore the next morning.

The man wasn't the heaviest sleeper and he knew of what she did but he refused to make known. He continued closing his eyes, until he finally fell into a slumber once again. And like how Yunhee had one of the most peaceful she got when cuddled into his arms in the guys' shared apartment a few weeks back, he could finally sleep with nothing weighing his head. His sleep finally felt like one after so long.