Thy Art | Park Seonghwa

8.4

( 🎵 Jeff Bernat - Wrong About Forever )

"So, you're basically car-less now?" Soojin asked the man lying on the reclined bed. And he simply gave her a small laugh before nodding.

"It saddens me a little," he confessed, "that car was my first big purchase and it's been with me since college days, you know?"

A comforting smile made their way onto the girl's face as she too, nodded to show how she understood what he felt. "Maybe that bad boy's time is up with you. I'm sure it enjoyed the adventures you've brought it on."

"I sure hope it did," he chuckled.

Soojin didn't realize how long it has been since she first arrived. Talking with Hongjoong had always made her lost track of time. Although she knew how much he tiptoed around her, choosing only certain things to talk about with her, it still felt nice to be able to converse with him.

"So, are you still going to design the clothes for the music video?" he queried.

"Yeah, but," she answered, "the director asked me whether or not you could finish producing the song in time. Since you know... this happened." She hesitantly continued. The lass knew how hard-working he was and anything that stops him from being so, is a sensitive topic to be touched.

"I'll finish it," he sternly remarked, not a single drop of uncertainty contained in his words.

"Alright then, I'll tell him so, yeah?"

There would always be pockets of silence floating around somewhere along their conversation and it was usually at times like these that questions began popping up in her head. Questions that she knew would push the boundaries if she did ask.

"Hey, Joong," she brought his attention back to her. His eyes now boring into her head as she looked down on her lap, fiddling with her nail.

"Yeah?"

"How's... Seonghwa doing?"

"Huh?" he tilted his head, slightly confused as to why she would suddenly ask about his friend. Soojin had wished there would be some kind of jealousy lacing onto his tone but all she heard was pure bewilderment of someone who would love nothing more than to dodge the question.

"How's he doing...?" she repeated, "you know... with Yunhee and Eunji and the marriage..."

"He's holding up," there he goes again. She wasn't in luck this time around as well. He really has only halt himself from being vague, once. Once and that's it. "But for Seonghwa, you really don't have to ask to know how he feels."

"I see...," she trailed. "Well... I'm meeting Eunji today."

"Is that why you asked?"

"Eunji said she needed a reality check," she began, "but there's a part of reality that I don't really know about."

"Soojin," she looked up, "you know Seonghwa just like how all of us know him. You may not be his closest friend but something that even a stranger would know about him is how much he loves one girl and one girl only. So with all these separation and marriage, you could already imagine how he currently feels, right?"

~

The small tent was flooded as well that very night. Especially since the time they had picked was late enough for everyone to be off work and free. Once again, Soojin and Eunji became the two that didn't look like they're on the verge of collapsing onto the table.

The two stayed quiet for the first few shots, both pondering over thoughts that may or may not be about one person. "So, you want to start telling me what's up or are we going to just drink until we look like that guy over there?" Soojin pointed towards a man sitting by the corner, sleeping so soundly with his head rested on the table while his other friends were still laughing.

Eunji huffed out a short laugh before pushing her shot glass off the edge of the table towards the center. "I went out to pick my dress yesterday."

Soojin gestured for her friend to go on as she poured herself another shot. "Seonghwa looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there with me. And to be honest? That kinda stings... and I'm... getting a little tired."

"Is it clear to you yet?" the latter queried after she made sure her friend was done talking, "just how much he doesn't want this marriage?"

It was quiet right after. Eunji didn't want to admit it aloud. It hurts when she heard him say it, it'll probably burn even more if she was the one saying it herself. "He did ask for my help... to talk to our parents about this."

"And did you agree?"

"I didn't," she answered, volume slightly decreasing as her head tilted down, "I told him I couldn't go against my parents' wish." She paused for a few seconds before continuing, "but really, I just don't want this marriage to be cancelled."

"Because you love him?"

"I've loved him for as long as I could remember," she muttered quietly.

"Ji, what do you do when you love someone?" The question Soojin had asked, made Eunji bit her bottom lip. She knew exactly what was right to do but... there's always a but to every single thing she knew was right as she refused to acknowledge it.

Soojin sighed as she watched her friend stayed silent, taking it upon herself to answer her own question. "When you love someone, you allow them to be happy even if it isn't with you."

"What is it that she has that I don't?" Eunji raised her voice slightly.

"I don't know," Soojin simply answered, "I really don't but maybe it's not because of that."

"I was there when she left," she croaked, "I was there when she left him in pieces. She was the biggest reason as to why he cried himself to sleep, the biggest reason why he lived like he was a living corpse. Were the 5 years where I stood by his side not enough for him to fall for me?"

"Eunji," Soojin tried to sound as soft as she can, "Have you ever seen him smile wider than he did when he was with Yunhee? Seen him more alive than he was when he's with her?"

Eunji folded her lips, nibbling on the bottom one as she shook her head. "Does he still live like a living corpse now?"

The lass knew the answer was yes. Maybe he didn't look like a living dead anymore but his life goes on just like that with each day that passed. His monotonous routine was enough to suck the life out of him. But ever since Yunhee came back, she too realized how he beamed in a different way. How he stared at the sky, no longer with the sad and sullen expression.

"Even after everything, she's still the only one who can make him feel alive," Soojin pointed out, "she's still the only who can paint that big of a smile onto his face and maybe it's not because you don't have something that she does. And if we're talking about our bad sides, even though, without any offense, you have more of them than she does, that wouldn't have stopped him from falling for you if it was meant to be like that."

"But I...I can't just let go off him."

Soojin poured the alcohol onto both of their shot glasses, pouring the content on hers down her throat right away. "Remember what I said, Ji. When you love someone you allow them to be happy, even should they require your absence. It's as simple and as difficult as that."

"I... I can't..."

The lass simply shrugged. "Just keep what I said in mind. You know the rest is in your hand."