Hermitcraft Ships

Fake Dating??

"Pleeeease Etho?" Beef batted his eyes, but Etho didn't waver. Beef was always trying to pull him into these wild plans of his.

"Absolutely not. Why do you want to fake date me anyways? That'll just be more awkward when they find out we're not."

"Well I maaay have stretched the truth when I said I had a date to bring on our double date, but it's Doc and Bdubs! I couldn't say no!"

"You told them you were going to ask me out? On a real date?"

"Weeelll," Beef chuckled bashfully. "I may have said we've been dating in secret for a month?"

Etho sighed with a smirk, rubbing the scar over his eye. "So now you're trying to wrap me up in your web of lies. I can't believe you."

"I could give you a llama! Two llamas! More noteblocks? Anything, please!" Beef begged. Etho was glad his mask covered the smile growing on his face; seeing Beef so desperate was almost payment enough.

"Throw in a diamond block and you've got a deal."

"Yes! Thanks Etho, you're the man!"

Etho regretted it the second he put on the silk vest. It was restricting and not his style, but Beef insisted it was a formal event. Glancing in the mirror on his way out the door, he could admit he looked good, but the mask was definitely an odd look. Leaping into the air, Etho took off towards the shopping district.

Upon arriving, he spotted Beef nervously adjusting his black tie in the middle of the commercial district. Etho didn't expect a white suit from Beef, but he had to admit it suited him nicely. "Lookin' sharp Beef!"

Beef proudly smoothed down the front of his suit. "Why thank you! You're looking rather dashing yourself," he added with a wink.

Etho was taken aback by that comment. "Is this part of the fake dating already?"

"No, you really do look nice." Beef silently adjusted Etho's bowtie, nodding in approval. "We are gonna have to act all cute when they get here though, okay?"

Etho nodded. "Right." He didn't consider himself a great actor, but he would do his best. Hopefully Beef would do most of the talking.

"Well well, it's the secret lovers!" Bdubs yelled, announcing his presence. He was arm in arm with Doc, and suddenly Etho was growing a lot more worried about how this double date was about to play out. Doc and Bdubs had been together for almost six months now, so they were perfectly comfortable together; Etho's confidence in his acting was plummeting fast.

"Hello to you too!" Beef waved, discreetly sliding a hand around Etho's waist. It felt so odd, Etho almost wanted to pull away, but instead he leaned into Beef's side, hoping he looked more comfortable than he was feeling.

"Our reservation is about to start, let's get seated and then we can talk, hm?" Doc suggested.

The fancy restaurant that had apparently been reserved was a small (yet opulent) building that had popped up on the shore. There was only one staff member, and to Etho's surprise it was Grian. He hadn't directly met the man yet, but based on the numerous stories he'd heard, waiting a fancy restaurant didn't exactly seem up his alley. But, he did excellently, and shortly the couples were comfortably seated and awaiting their meals.

"So how long have you been holding out on us?" Bdubs asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Beef shot a loving glance at Etho, and he froze. This was so strange. "We've been together for a couple weeks, so it hasn't been long, I promise," Beef lied easily. "Etho didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but this is nice! We should go out together more often!"

Etho had to swallow the cry of indignation growing inside. Suggesting going on more dates was going to perpetuate the lie, and Etho couldn't do this another night. He was feeling all sorts of weird already, and they'd barely been out for ten minutes. The idea hadn't bothered him earlier, but now that he was here it was very strange.

"What about you, Etho; when did you fall for Beef?" Doc asked, smirking when Etho jumped.

"Oh, ah... well, I'd say maybe season four? N- yeah..."

Etho sat in agony for what felt like a million years as the whole table stared at him. Obviously Beef knew it was a lie, but the way Doc and Bdubs were staring he was terrified they knew as well. That wouldn't be too bad though, would it? They could stop lying to their friends, which is what Etho wanted, right?

"Aww, that long? How sweet!" Bdubs crooned. "What made you fall for him?"

Etho was short circuiting. "Uhh, he's really strong, and nice to people, and I like his beard?"

"Aw Etho, you flatterer!" Beef pecked Etho on the cheek just above his mask. His face flushed brightly, he could feel himself overheating in the stuffy suit, and Doc and Bdubs giggled as they watched his struggle.

"...love you Beefers..." he mumbled out, pressing some semblance of a kiss on Beef's cheek through the mask.

Once their meals were served, things went much smoother. Etho didn't say another word, simply nodding when asked a question and listening as Beef and Doc effortlessly discussed how fun it was having partners smaller than themselves. Most of it was a blur for Etho, and at long last the couples parted ways. Beef and Etho flew towards Beef's hacienda silently, afraid to break their facade in case Doc or Bdubs were still in eyesight. Only once they were safely standing on Beef's porch did Etho finally speak up. "We did it."

Beef let out a relieved laugh. "Yeah, it went surprisingly well. Now we just hope they don't bring it up to anyone."

"Yeah, I didn't think that far ahead..." Etho quickly began conjuring all the ways the hermits would find about this date, and all the ways Doc and Bdubs could discover that it was all a lie. A strange, stomach-flipping lie that had Etho's head spinning every time he looked at Beef.

Beef, in that white suit with his perfectly trimmed beard and shining blue eyes that pierced Etho where he stood. "Are you okay? You don't look good." Beef set a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he was torn between pulling away and leaning in for a kiss.

For a kiss? They weren't on a fake date anymore, Etho didn't have to pretend. But, maybe he wasn't pretending anymore. The flips his stomach was performing certainly weren't fake. Etho found himself leaning forward slightly, and though Beef looked confused he leaned in as well. They kissed softly, and Etho discovered he really had been wanting to do this since season 4.

They pulled away slowly, and Beef's confused but content expression mirrored Etho's thoughts perfectly. "So..."

Beef giggled, and it made Etho's heart sing. "I guess it wasn't really a fake date huh?" He hummed.

The starry night was silent besides their hushed confessions at the doorstep, like the world had stopped to give them some privacy. That was the first night of many long, late nights for the two new lovers.

Have I been reading cheesy fics from 2016? Maybe so 👀

Love you, my little stars!
-RaeTheStar