I - New End: Danielle ✔️

Part 24 - Piece by Piece

Ben/ Climbing the staircase, it's dark and silent compared to the noisy dancescene we just left behind us. As Dannii guides me into her apartment, regret creeps up my spine. What am I doing? Being alone with her in the same space, usually leads to more than I can handle.

Do I really want her to know?

"So this is my place." She turns around in the middle of the room, with a shy smile and open arms. This black Angel lures me in with such ease. Every time she smiles, I melt by a hundred degrees. "It's not finished yet." Pointing at the loose electricity wires hanging out of the ceiling.

It's a clear night and the moon spreads it's light throughout the sitting area, enough for me to see how far along Nick came with the remodeling. I saw the blueprints a few months back when he came to my office in New York for advice. So quickly scanning the place with my architect eye, it seems nearly done. Some brackets need to be installed and it needs a few brushes of paint but other than that it's pretty much finished.

"Here's the kitchen, over there the patio and a spare guest room, here is the bathroom,..." she rambles on as she speeds through the open spaced rooms, away from me. "And here is the master bedroom..." She hesitates before entering the room. Throwing her black curls over her shoulder, she checks if I'm still with her.

Flipping on the only lightbulb in the apartment, she walks inside the room. "It has a walk-in closet." Stepping in. "...which was highly ranked on my 'must have' list !" She abruptly stops in her pace as she nearly walks into the wall at the end of the closet.

I silently chuckle at her adorable clumsiness.

"Thanks for the tour." I smile and almost bounce on my heels. I feel like a giddy schoolgirl every time I'm alone with her.

She nervously turns to me, fiddling with her very short black tulle skirt. Which by the way, makes me wanna get down on my knees and just kiss every inch of her long sexy exposed legs.

Fuck man, keep it together, that's not what you're here for!

I shrug and walk to the canapé in the middle of the closet, sitting myself down, with my back to the wall to wall mirror. I pat my hand on the newly beige velvet covered canapé as a naughty fantasy makes an appearance once again.

I chuckle at the tempting urge growing in my pants as I would like to rub in this velvet fabric with her body underneath me.

Shake it off dude, I mean it!

She hesitatingly moves closer to sit down.

"I need to show you something!" I start to unbutton my button-up shirt.

"Benjamin, I don't..." She lays her hand on mine, a wary attempt to stop me from taking off my shirt.

"I'm leaving for Paris next week and I don't know if or when I'll be back. I need to do this now!" I ask permission, staring into her beautiful eyes. She nods, letting her hands fall down on her lap. Diverting her eyes as I continue to unbutton. She bites her bottom lip, like she does when she's exited or worried about things. I wonder which feeling it is right now.

Worried, myself about how she will react, I open my shirt. Her eyes growing larger at the sight of my bruised up pecs.

"What happened?" Within seconds she kneels down in front of me. I flinch at the touch of her her hands as she carefully trails the cuts and purple spots on my abdomen.

"When my fa..." I chock on the word father. "I can't do this." I feel like my throat is squeezed tight. "I can't talk about it, it's too soon. I'm sorry..." I move to stand and get out of there.

"Please!" She pushes me back in my seat and takes of my Dracula mask as she leans in, to look into my eyes. "Talk to me!" Two sparkling red devils horns, peaking out of her black curls, are screaming for attention. It's hard for me to take her face serious when those horns are pointing at me.

But I realize this is not the time to be distracted. I want her to know, what she does to me. How she fits into my puzzled mind.

I take a moment and a few deep breaths, feeling so fucking edgy all of a sudden. I can't believe how vulnerable I'm going to let myself be with her. I wanna punch a hole in the wall just to feel something else. But that's what I always do, so different approach this time!

"When my dad died, the pain and grief were too much for me. I was with him when he died. Holding his shaking hand as his heart gave up. With his last breath, I literally felt his life flowing out of his body. I've been dead inside ever since, going on a very negative downward spiral of drinking, having sex with random chicks and bar fighting. Anything to feel, something. I lost most fights to drunken regulars, lost my girlfriend and with that my home, even got arrested once."

I narrow in on her face, looking for a sign of judgement. Yet, none is noticeable in her eyes as they meet mine, only compassion. She takes my large hand in her small delicate one. Giving it a small squeeze, encouraging me to go on.

"One night Mike, a guy I knew from the gym, found me outside a bar, beaten and bruised on the pavement. He took me under his wing and taught me how to fight properly, how to take a hit. He introduced me in the underground fighting scene. Chanel my anger into something positive. Every time I fought I felt better, like the pain replaced the heartache."

I release a bubble of air from my lungs. Every fiber in my body feels vibrant, this feels so right telling her.

"I haven't fought outside of the 'ring' ever since. Accept for what happened with Cole... I absolutely overstepped a boundary there!"

I leave out the fact that I'm pretty damn good at fighting. I have a strong right hook, I'm very fast and observant towards my opponent, a killer combo and I always make them believe I'm the weaker one. But that's not a point right now and she already witnessed a little action, when I knocked Cole down.

To my great appreciation, Dannii opens her mouth, wanting to say something, but she holds back. I won't be able to continue if she interrupts me.

"I got the outline of my Raven tattoo as a symbol of my heart and grief. A balance as it were. Drawing it piece by piece as I heal from mourning." I fight back the throb in my throat.

Come on Ben, just a little bit more!

"When I fight everybody can see the tattoo. But I promised myself I would only explain its full meaning when it was done, when my heart was put back together and only for the worthy to know what it means. The other day... You weren't supposed to see it yet!"

Surprise hits Danniis face, as I slowly slide my shirt down my shoulders. Without a word she goes to stand. She backs up a step or two, tear filled eyes, looking into the mirror behind me.

Seems we all struggle with grief in some way. This was a very personal chapter for me. But it felt so right to write. 🖤

Glad Ben found someone he could open up to like that. 🥰

Keep tuned, there is more to come. 🔥

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