DEAR JOURNAL

YEAR TEN

TW-self harm, blood, sad virgil, sad patton
Sorryyyy
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One year later

Present day

Virgil's pov

Dear Dee,

Fuck you Dee You ruined my life. It was all perfect. I was happy. How did I get here? Dee . No this is his fault. Or yours for trusting him.

Dear journal,

Hi sorry I just needed to rant. I lied I'm not fine. Nothing is fine. Paranoia is louder than ever, whenever the others come by. It's always to plan things so I can't talk to any of them. Paranoia is the only form of social interaction I get every day. Other than watching the others joke around in front of me like I don't exist. To answer my question from last year. The worst that could happen is that I slip into a depression(haha funny right?) and start back up my tradition of keeping the days that go by on my arms. Just one cut a day and yet I have more than 365 cuts on my arms. I thought I hit rock bottom 7 years ago but I think I hit it for real this time. I know I have a problem and I want help but they won't let me ask for it. If they would take a break from trying to keep a lid on Deceit and Depression they would see how much trouble Par is giving me. Today is the day of our weekly get together. That means that I watch them try to come up with a strategy to keep Dee and deceit busy until they eventually become distracted and watch Disney movies on my couch while I watch, I'm totally not bitter. They should be getting here in a minute. If Logan gets here a minute early or minute late his entire schedule is thrown off.

I go to the drawer that I keep my bracelet in and pull it out. You don't have to do this, you made a fake one. My plan is foolproof so even you can pull it off. 'As much as I hate all of them I'm going to let you ruin any of this' I never said that I would come out to play, which we all know that you are too weak to keep me at bay. The only reason you're still here is because I want to break you into a million pieces and it is much more fun to watch it happen without having to lift a finger. 'Fine so let's say I don't wear the bracelet, but I will. I always do, we have this conversation every week, what would you do' find a way to help Dee and Dolin slowly kill everyone that you care about. 'WHAT?!' I'm kidding, chill. I just want to see what Dee wants.

I look between the real and fake bracelets just do it. 'No' yes it's so easy and simple. You have dealt with this for a year. 'Exactly so what is one more day' you always say that but it has been way more than one day. I think about it. Then I set down the real bracelet and clip on the fake one. 'Fine' ugh finally if I had to go one more minute with only hearing your annoying ass I would have taken over and killed this body and the two of us in it. 'Go ahead I wouldn't stop you' and that is why I didn't do it. If you want to die killing you literally only affects me. 'Whatever they will be here any moment now be quiet or I will sneak off and pop the real one on' As if on cue the lights flicker signaling that someone just teleported into the house.

"Kiddo we're here~" Patton calls out from the living room. I was about to say hi back but then remember that I'm not supposed to be able to talk. Don't screw this up. 'Par?' Yeah? 'Shut the fuck up' I walk out of the kitchen and into the living room. All of the maps and info we have gathered is already set up. They get to work on everything. I listen in on like normal seeing if anything needs my attention. This week there was a dragon witch set loose by deceit, a couple or rouge sides caused some crap, and Remus blew up the castle.....again. They get into talking about the fact that no one has seen or heard anything from Depression in three weeks. He must be planning something big~ it has been quite for a bit because everyone is working and I jump as the sudden noise. They all look at me and tilt their heads.