DEAR JOURNAL

YEAR ONE

Song-Teenage Dream, glee, warblers cover
(Might seem random now but it will make sense in the future)
TW: self harm, blood
Anything else let us know
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Chapter 2

One year later

Dear journal,

I haven't heard my own voice I'm a year. I haven't heard from Dolin or Remus in a year. I haven't eaten in five days. I haven't had any water that wasn't from the bathroom in my room in a year. I haven't seen anyone in a year. I know it has been a year because there are now 365 thin scars up and down my arms. The only thing keeping me going is the music that occasionally plays throughout the mind. My room sometimes glitches to its light colors every now and then but otherwise things are fine. Well as fine as they could be in my situation I can feel my ribs and I haven't gotten a chance to get the dried blood from this week's tally marks yet so my right arm is a mess. Remus likes to turn off my shower water for days on end. He hasn't left it off for this long before though. I hear the little mail slot in my door jiggle which means it is time for my lunch or dinner I don't really know. I only know that it is night time because it gets dark and Thomas goes to sleep and I keep him up with thoughts of what he did wrong in the day.

I get up to grab the food but I overestimate how little water I have had the last two weeks and I fall to the floor. I land on my headphones and let out a yelp. I hear the door unlock and open. A man I assume is Remus because Dolin doesn't care enough and I haven't seen his face helps me up.

"Remus is out for right now so let's get you cleaned up." Dolin? Wait, I thought Dolin locked me in here in the first place.

"I am so sorry but he would let me let you out every time I would try he would stop me. I didn't mean for this to happen I thought that if I scared you that your room would stop glitching and you would fully be a dark side." He brings me over to the couch and uses a wet washcloth to whip my arms and face clean.

"It's ok he is out causing some trouble with the light sides and you can talk you don't need permission" I don't think I remember how to talk all I know is that it is frustrating to stutter through every word. Even dolin's words seem foreign the only thing I have heard in the past year were the songs that got stuck in thomas' head. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out, my throat feels so dry and dolin notices. I feel a glass of water come near my face and I take a sip from it. It tastes so good and fresh that I chug all of it down in five seconds.

"I'm s-s-sorry" my voice feels foreign in my mouth. I laugh internally my first words in a year we're I'm sorry, seems fitting I don't know what I did but I still feel guilty.

"Why are you sorry?"Dolin says as he hands me a plate of food. Not the slop I get served by Remus but real food, with meat and vegetables. I scarf it down so fast you could think I was inhaling it.

"I d-d-d-d-d-don't really know b-b-b-b-but I feel g-g-g-guilty" Dolin gives me a sad look and hugs me being careful of my injured arms. I haven't had human contact in a year so I hug him back. Soon enough my cheeks and his shoulder are wet with my tears. I haven't cried in months for fear of Remus or Dolin yelling at me through my door.

"I want to show you something before Remus gets back his meeting with......someone he should be done by now but he should be in the village with some lesser sides right now so you should be free to go as long as we get back before him but given the fact this is the first time he has left the house in the past year you should be good for a while" I feel my lips turn upwards into a smile and I get up from my spot at the couch. Then I fall down again I still can't really walk on my own.

"Let's get you into this"he summons a wheelchair from who knows where and picks me up and sets me down. Then we roll right on out of the house. I wish I could stay out here in this grassy field forever but I know I will have to go back at some point.