Updated at 3:43PM
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Tord's POV
I miss Ringo... When she left, it felt as if I became alone all over again.. Of course I still have Reality and Syvia around, but it isn't the same.. Reality and I have been friends forever. But Ringo and I were closer than ever... Yea I just thought of her as a friend, but she always listens to me when I talk..
She's always there for me when I'm upset or angry.. She knows how to calm me like no one else could.. Well, like Thomas would... She cares about my well being enough to take care of me, no matter the struggle.. Tho there would be times she couldn't calm me down. It's more likely because I began to panic about Thomas
I care about him more than anything in this world. I love him. And I've always have. When I was little I never knew what the feeling was. And when I was in middle school, I learned about what everything is. So I pinpointed it and concluded to the fact I had a crush on Thomas
I was just to scared to tell him about my feelings. I was scared he would reject me and then it be awkward between us. Eventually, my crush on him faded for a bit. But when we got to highschool, it decided to show itself again. At the worst timing. Back in highschool Thomas and I weren't friends anymore
So I just brushed it off as a phase or just a small highschool crush that'll eventually fade away. It never did. And everytime we fought. It hurt so much. Not physically, but emotionally. Everytime I wanted to cry right then and there. But I didn't and held back
One day I had to stop and think about everything. And I concluded that I still loved Thomas after all that time. It took a bit to actually accept the fact I loved the only person who now hated me. I was always just spacing out when I was staring at him
I couldn't just look away from him. He was- and still is -perfect in every way. I don't know how exactly my little old self fell for him. But I don't care about that. I love everything about him. Funny thing is, I actually don't really like hentai. It was never appealing to me
But it was one of the only way I could get Tom out of my damn mind. And if my thoughts were to ever get... Dirty.. I'd put that on and pretend I'm doing, ya know, to that. But in honesty, Tom was the only one that would've been on my mind. Probably still would to
Tom is the only one that could get me so... Excited.. I would always imagine him doing it, instead of myself. One time I let a, moan slip from my mouth and it was Thomas' name.. But thank God he thought it was the hentai I was watching and not me. I at least got to see his embarrassed face which was a huge plus one
And it probably only got me harder- I can't remember correctly. But I do remember that Tom yelled at me to not watch whatever disgusting thing I like with his name in it. And he said it pretty much like that. Ok I know that, that all sounds weird and pretty creepy. But I couldn't help myself ok!!
Anyways- During the few days Ringo was gone I had been transferred to my room. Meaning I can now stay in my room from now on instead of the hospital room I was in. I still have someone come check on me and to walk me around the base. But I can pretty much do it by myself, they just want to be more cautious
My back was sore a lot. But I'm able to manage. I still have work to do, even tho I had someone- very trustworthy -to look after the base when I wasn't here. I was able to get a secretary for the meantime that Thomas wasn't here. Hopefully they won't piss me off enough that I want to shot them. Because I won't hesitate to
I, at the moment, laid in my bed curled up into my blankets. I was able to get ahold of Thomas' things I had at the other base before it exploded. Like I have Tomee Bear, and his favorite hoodie. I have Tomee Bear in my arms, as for Tom's hoodie. It still smelt like him, tho the sent was very very faint because mine was covering it up
But it calmed me when I had Tomee Bear to cuddle. Just him was enough because he reminds me of Tom. Because he belongs to Tom, and he's had him since like, forever. And that makes me happy to know. I just hope they're both alright.. I think of Ringo as a sister, or even as the daughter I've never had
Tom, well, it's way more different from her. Obviously. I love him, and worry about his safety more than anything else. But I'm assuming Ringo had went to see Tom. Because it was the only logical reason. She wouldn't leave without telling me. But this would make sense. Because I would want to go along as well
You don't know how much I wish I could be holding Thomas in my arms right now. I want to hold him close to me and never let him go. I was scared of loosing him because he's all I have left. But now I lost him and I don't know what to do. I'm just scared.. I couldn't even keep him with me. He was taken from my grasp so easily
I tried so hard to keep him safe. I was able to do so, but it caused me to be weak and I couldn't save him from getting taken away. (Keep in mind that Tord doesn't know Edd and Matt are the Rebellion Leaders) I let out a sigh, I sound so obsessed, it's kinda creepy
It's not that I'm obsessed. I'm just scared. When I was younger I was bullied a lot, and Reality was my only real friend. I had put all my trust into her. I learnt that if you can trust someone enough that they'd never betray you. Keep them close because you never know when they're going to be taken away
When Tom befriended me when I was younger, I was able to trust him easily. It was probably because I love him. I don't know. Anyway, he introduced me to Edd and Matt and we stuck together ever since. I went with the only thing I had learned when I was small. I kept them close and did my best to keep them safe
I didn't want to lose them. They're to good to just throw away, and they're to good to lose. I tried my best to not let them slip from my grasp, but that ended up happening anyways. And everything just became worse. As for the only person I had left, was the one I love but the one who hates me
And that wasn't the only scary part. I knew he was the only happiness I had left, so I did anything I could to prevent losing it...
In the end...
I still lost it..
Why do I always lose my happiness..?
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My Fair Thomas... | TordTom [] WTFuture []
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