University High (Yizhan Fanfiction)

Chapter 42: Loneliness

After that, Xiaozhan tried to talk to him and ask him out but he was rejected many times. Yibo seemed to be avoiding him.

He was back on the job. They no longer ate breakfast together nor dinner. He was always out and about busying himself with his new band.

The days got quieter, the house felt emptier than before. The bustling kitchen where he used to cook him hearthy meals were left deserted, Just like the two months at the hospital. But the difference was, the current Yibo was aloof and far away. At the very least when he was lying in the hospital, Xiaozhan got to sit beside him and held his hand. He would sometimes carress his face, his hair and kiss the sleeping Yibo. Those gestures comforted him as he felt that those hands were his to hold and those pale lips was his to kiss. At least he was still alive and breathing was what he told himself repeatedly. He sometimes felt like he was raising a teenager who was undergoing puberty and went astray.

The cold treatement went on for about a month or so. It was lonely to the point that Zhan took to drinking. He started with a glass of wine daily, which then lead to two glasses. He needed the boost to battle sleepless nights and to help calm his nerves.

He thought of moving on, but the single thought that his past love was in there somewhere and that he might wake up and come back again was enough to dissuade him. He would rather watch the cold back of his former lover. It was the only thing left of his lover.

*

Meanwhile, unbeknowst to Xiaozhan, Yibo was doing something secretive behind his back. On his off days, Yibo would visit University High and to catch a glimpse of his Xiaolaoshi. He would follow his shadow and watch his movements from faraway.

Speaking of his girlfriend, He could not describe his relationship with her in a few words. She was the perfect girlfriend who was supportive of what he does. Desire was absent in their almost cold relationship. He still could not find it in his heart to love her, yet he did not hate her enough to chase her away from his life.

At the very least her existence helped ward off other females who would otherwise shamelessly chase after him.

At this point, the furthest they did was cuddle and hold hands which Yibo did not find too repulsive so he went along with her advances. But the few times they were about to kiss, Yibo would back away. He couldn't kiss those plump shiny lips smeared with fruity lip gloss. He just had no desire for it.

Then when he consciously thought about the logic behind his aversion to kissing his own girlfriend, his thoughts ran back to a certain someone who lived just a few footsteps away from his room.

The truth was that everytime they were about to kiss, Zhange's face kept popping in his mind and this annoyed him to the core. He still found it hard to accept having feelings for his teacher and a male one at that and the fact that his feelings were one sided. So his frustration was taken out on dear Zhange who lived together with him.

One afternoon, Yibo was at his doctor's appointment with  his girlfriend who stuck to him like leech wherever he was. As if he would disappear if she did not see him often enough so she stuck by his side to remind him of her status.

"Doc, its been two months and I havent recalled anything. Is this normal?"

"It really depends on the individual. Some people's memory may come back quicker than others. But be patient."

"Is there a chance that I wont recover them ever again?"

The doctor was silent for a while

"Its okay. Just tell me. I need to know."