when all is said and done | e.d.

twenty-three

ethan

my stomach does flips at the idea of facing harper today.

last night was... amazing.

but it was also a mistake.

i shouldn't have let her kiss me, and i shouldn't have let myself go with it. i should've sobered myself up and realized how much of an idiot move that is.

i left her house at 2 am, leaving not even a note behind. what would i even say? i remember how she was sleeping peacefully and didn't want to wake her.

not because i would've felt bad, but so i could leave without an awkward conversation after.

i don't remember much before the kiss, only that she was sad about her past relationships and how no guy seems to take interest in her.

they say drunk words are sober thoughts, and i can confirm, because i faintly remember spewing a lot of built up observations that i had hardly been admitting to myself.

at 8:00 am, i feel my heart pound at the sound of the office door opening, and quick footsteps to her desk. i keep my eyes locked on the computer in front of me, not daring to even glance in her direction. 

thankfully, today has no meetings that i have to attend with her.

so i can sit here until 5:30 and then i can go home and think of ways to fix this.

i hate that i might've ruined things.

harper was starting to become a really good friend of mine, and i just possibly messed it up for good.

throughout the morning, not a peep is heard throughout the office. not even a cough or a laugh. nothing.

but, whenever i start to think about last night and how much i regret it, i remember the feeling of her soft skin under me, and how she said my name in her smooth and sensual voice.

"you need to stop," i remind myself under my breath, shaking the thoughts from my head.

she's my boss.

i can't be thinking of her like that.

at noon on the dot, she leaves quickly, as if waiting for the moment she has a reason to escape the silent air with me.

i sigh out immediately after the door clicks, and finally tear my focus away from the space in front of me, where i've confined my eyes to.

harper's stuff lays spread out on her desk, and for a minute i almost expect to see a bright pink sticky stuck to the connecting glass door.

of course, there isn't one.

it makes me a little sad, but honestly what did i expect?

i get up from my chair and take a much needed stretch break, and head for the elevator. you're not really allowed to order food to the building unless it's for a catered meeting, but thank god there's a small snack bar on the third floor.

the ride down is quiet, and surprisingly it doesn't stop to pick up anyone else, and just takes me straight down to the floor i pushed.

there's a small sign on the snack bar telling you to scan your badge and punch in what you took from the inventory. it was harper's idea, since many were complaining that they were hungry and didn't have time in their lunch break to leave and come back.