when all is said and done | e.d.

twenty-five

harper

on tuesday, the 23rd, i receive dozens christmas cards from my coworkers. they crowd my desk in piles, and just keep appearing.

eventually i told mary to stop sending them up. they're giving me a headache.

i've looked into ethan's office all day yesterday and even today, and every time i do, i frown that he's not here.

despite what i promised, i do miss him.

but why?

tomorrow until monday the 29th, everyone in the building has off. it's a longer break than normal, but it worked out better this way. christmas eve is prime time for my anxiety, and i hate it each year.

the same questions run through my mind every time: what if my family doesn't like their gifts? what if i spill eggnog on my sweater? why is everyone running around, shouldn't they be at home?

it's safe to say the holiday season is not my favorite.

at 1 pm, i'm starting to get antsy at the thought of going home and getting into my pajamas. it's like how in elementary school we'd all watch movies on the last day before break, and count down on the clock until 3 pm.

a knock at my door makes me look up from my article surfing, and yell, "come in?"

the knock comes again, and i stand up to answer the door, slightly annoyed.

as soon as i swing it open, christmas songs are being sung loudly and cheerfully in my face by multiple building receptionists, all wearing hats and holding song booklets.

i smile and nod along to we wish you a merry christmas and silent night until they finally leave and i can get back to my dreadful work.

"you guys sounded so good!" i call out to them down the hallway.

i'm still giggling after they leave, and start to turn to where ethan would be sitting if he was here, about to crack jokes about the performance.

but of course, he's not here.

with a frown, i go against all company rules and pull out my phone to check my personal facebook.

my suspicions that he might have posted something were correct, as the first thing that pops up is a picture of him and grayson smiling widely next to a girl that faintly resembles both of them, and a tall christmas tree.

i find myself smiling as i like the photo, and turn off my phone.

but i pick it back up as soon as i hear it buzz.

ethan dolan (assistant): harper jane brown on her phone? at WORK?? something's not adding up here...

me: stalking me?

ethan dolan (assistant): i got the facebook notification and simply could not believe my eyes. easy day?

me: you're not missing much. a surplus of christmas cards, mary and the rest of the receptionists crew singing carols and sounding like dying cats, you know— the usual.

ethan dolan (assistant): don't be mean to mary 🥺 she brought me christmas cookies last year.

me: you using an emoji just felt like a fever dream

ethan dolan (assistant): this entire conversation feels like a fever dream. get back to work, boss lady

me: don't get your tinsel in a tangle