when all is said and done | e.d.

twenty-four

harper

i'm firmly pushed against the wall of my room as my hands roam ethan's hair, trying not to make a sound as he trails down my neck with his lips, biting gently and probably leaving marks behind.

"we said... never again..." i breathe out, trying to muster up some air to speak.

he stops, but doesn't pull away. "so you want to be done?" he mumbles against my skin.

i hate that i don't have the willpower, nor desire to tell him to stop.

"no, obviously not," i say, pulling his chin back up to connect our lips.

the truth is, i've been thinking about this moment for the past three days. all day thursday, friday, and today.

it's been torture for me to see things go back to normal and cautious around each other. it's like we were two months ago, barely knowing the other.

so i invited him over— to see ruby.

he quickly obliged, even though he definitely knows i don't have ruby on saturdays.

even if he thinks i haven't noticed, i see him staring me down as i do things around the office, eyes dark and clouded over. he's wanted this just as much as i have.

i don't have an emotional connection to ethan.

obviously we're friends and will always stay that way, but this is just an added bonus that we pretend never happened the next morning.

my mind can never stay off his touch for too long, even as i lay next to him in my bed at midnight, hearing his slow breathing that indicates he's sleeping. the second time was just as thrilling as the first, and leaves me with a pang of guilt just the same.

he's my assistant.

but a hot one.

sighing softly, i turn to look at him before shutting off my lamp light and flipping onto my side. if he wants to leave before i wake up, he can, or we could just get breakfast in the morning and avoid conversation about the previous night all together.
it's his call, because i'm fine with either.

i close my eyes, trying to ignore the warm presence beside me and how nice it feels to fall asleep next to someone.

                                          *******

my eyes fling open as i hear a sizzling sound floating down the hallway and into my room.

i feel the spot next to me and my hand drops and lands on the soft sheets. ethan must've left earlier.

my attention is now back on the sizzling noise, and i quickly jump out of bed and pull on some shorts, fearing the absolute worst.

what if my kitchen is burning down? is this what a gas leak sounds like? i haven't even rented this place for 10 months and i'm already going to lose the lease.

i rush out my door slightly out of breath, but stop when i see ethan's back turned away from me, and him cooking something on the stove. 

confused, i quietly pad over to a barstool across from the counter, and watch him closely.

he's completely oblivious to me behind him, and starts to him an ABBA song, like always. the sizzling noise intensifies, and i see a small droplet of oil jump up and burn his hand. he immediately curses, pulling his hand into his chest.

i slip out a quiet giggle, causing him to turn around swiftly.

"h-hi," he says quietly with widened eyes. "how long have you been there?"