when all is said and done | e.d.

fifty-four

ethan

i drum my fingers against my stomach and debate if harper would want my feet on her couch or not. ruby looks at me with confused eyes, and i nod. "you're right, ruby. she wouldn't mind."

sighing, i stare up at the ceiling and try to stop thinking of her in that tight red dress.

"he's just my assistant."

"i could never think of him like that."

"he's just... ethan. he's always been just ethan."

and suddenly the thoughts are wiped away.

ruby licks my forehead, and for he first time i don't stop her. she just gets it, you know? we lay on the couch only listening to silence for a long time before i stand up to fill her bowl.

harper and janae like to give her dry food with wet food on top, so i do my best to recreate it.

"wanna go for a walk?" i ask the dog while she eats, and i shake my head at the realization that i'm talking to something that won't respond.

"i think a walk would do us both some good," i breathe out and search for her leash in the foyer. i furrow my brows and crouch down to search some of the lower drawers when i can't seem to find it.

a cold gust of wind hits my back as the door flings open, and i immediately go into fight or flight mode.

i'm about to either grab ruby and dip, or start to punch before i look up quickly and see that it's...

harper.

and she's crying.

my first instinct is confusion, and my second one is to comfort. i push the second one away as she closes the door behind her and meets my eyes.

"harper, what happened?" i ask quietly, still in a state of disbelief.

"he told me he loved me," she whispers desperately, eyes pouring into mine.

"and...?"

she shakes her head, biting her bottom lip and looking away. "i couldn't say it back."

part of me is hurting for her.
and the other part is rejoicing, but i force myself to stay calm and collected.

"do you want to talk about it?" i ask.

she looks back up to me, and i see a mixture of confusion and sadness in her eyes.
it catches me off guard when i spot a bit of lust as well.

"harp, you can talk to me—"

my sentence is cut off by her rushing to reach up and cup my face, bringing it down to hers.

our lips connect, and i immediately forget every single thing that was on my mind earlier. for right now, it's just me and her.

and then i remember the phone call.

"wait," i say, pushing her back gently and tilting my head away from hers. "y-you don't... get to do this."

harper's eyebrows furrow. "what?"

"you don't get to say that you could never love me, and then come here and do this."