South Park One-Shots (Completed)

Passive-Aggressive Insult

Requested by @manager_bri
(Flower Shop Owner!Ike x Firkle)

{Ike's P.O.V}
Walking into the back of my flower shop for the day, I close the back door behind me and picks up my gardening apron from where I hung it up at. "It'll be another busy day," I mumble under my breath, putting keys in my pocket and finding a piece of candy inside, "Maybe not so terrible though." Opening the candy wrapper, I put it my mouth, then toss the wrapper into my trash can back here. Grabbing my spray bottle of water, I make my way out of the back and along the rows of flowers, giving them each a spray of water. Once finished, I store the spray bottle of water underneath my counter. I glance at the clock on my wall, "Only 6:30, some of the city isn't even awake yet." Walking over to the front door, I flip the closed sign over to its 'open' side, and walk back into the back room to grab my breakfast that I brought with me. 'Maybe I'll have some time to eat breakfast before customers start to show.' I quietly laugh to myself about what I just thought. 'Who am I kidding? This is the time where all the grumpy women who haven't had their fifth cup of coffee come in to get their flowers for someone important, or for someone who did them wrong.' Hearing the bell above the door chime, I know someone is already here. "Just a minute, I'll be right with you!" I call out, folding up my breakfast bag and sets it back on the back table.

{Firkle's P.O.V; Same morning}
"Turn off that disgusting alarm Firkle. It's repulsive." Right, I forgot she was even stayed the night. I flip her off, not turning off my alarm. Instead, I turn the volume up louder. I hear her practically stomping out of the room before I decide to get up from my bed. 'I'm going to need to clean these covers soon. Ah, whatever.' Picking up my phone, I turn down and turn off my alarm. Then I suddenly get a call. 'He would be away right now, wouldn't he?' I think to myself as I answer the call, putting it on speaker and setting phone on my bedside stand so I can get dressed. "What?" I finally respond, not hearing what he said the first time.
"I was asking if you are actually going to dump that Britany today like you've been planning to." Pete said, obviously already ticked off for some reason.
"Yeah, yeah, I am. I can't stand her anymore. How did I even stay with her ass for so long?" I ask out loud, not really expecting an actual answer once again.
"None of us know. Just get it over with already. The sooner you do, the sooner she's out of your life." He reminds me. He obviously doesn't know how many times I've been reminded of this for so long. I groan at him in response, finally done getting dressed.
"We're going to go smoke in the cemetery today since we're all off work. You can come when you're done." He tells me before hanging up. 'Wow, so nice this morning.' I think as I grab my phone and wallet before leaving my room, grabbing my keys on my way to the door. 'Thank Cthulhu, she has already left my house.'
I lock the door behind me before walking to the shops. 'I've already tried several other things to break up with her. The more common ways the posers do it. So how does she not understand?' I think as I check my wallet. 50 bucks today, she took money from my wallet again. Just great. Glancing up to see where I've stopped, finding myself at the "Brofloski's Flowers" shop. Huh, did all of them work in this shop? 'Oh wait, maybe there's a way to say 'fuck you' in flowers. Considering that flowers supposedly convey meaning.' Entering the shop, no one seems to be here. I look around a bit, hearing a guy call out, saying he'll be here in a second. 'That voice is oddly familiar.'

{Ike's P.O.V}
I walk out of the back to see the one person I've least expected to walk into the flower shop, Firkle. The "kinder" goth from school. 'Well, I haven't seen him since high school. He doesn't look so "kinder" now.'
"Soo, how can I help you today sir?" I ask him since we're both kind of just staring at each other. Him takes him a couple seconds to response, must be his thoughts catching up to speed with him.
"How do I say 'fuck you' in flower?" He asks me, taking out $20 for his wallet. I almost laugh out loud after being caught off-guard with that question. I've never been asked for these kinds of flowers before.
"Well, there is a more passive-aggressive way to insult someone." I recommend since I don't want to see someone having to break up another person shoving flowers down someone's throat.
"I'll take that then." He sets the $20 down on the counter before looking at me again. 'Damn, he still has the same haircut years later.' I get lost in thought be I hear a throat being cleared, reminding me that he's still in here.
"Right! So you'd need a bouquet of geraniums, foxglove, meadowsweet, yellow carnations, and orange lilies. It would be quite striking! And full of loathing." I gather up the flowers into a bouquet for him as I state them. Noticing his confused look, I got on to explain further. "Geraniums mean stupidity, foxgloves mean insincerity, meadowsweet means uselessness, yellow carnations mean your have disappointed me', and orange lilies mean hatred."
"That is...actually prefect. Thank you for your help, I guess." He takes the bouquet after I'm done preparing it.
"It's my pleasure, and my job. Though you should definitely come back and tell me what happened. Maybe we can catch up during my lunch break." I tell him, trying to keep his looking at his eyes.
"Uhh..yeah. Okay." He agrees, looking at the bouquet of hatred flowers in his hands, unable to meet my eyes. Since he's so distracted currently, I decided to finally make my move after years of secret pining. I walk out from behind the counter and gently lift his head up by his chin, gently kissing him. He seemed surprised at first, but he soon kissed back after coming to his senses.
After a few minutes, I pull away from him, breaking the kiss. I could tell that he did enjoy it, since he didn't shove me off.
"Sooo, I'll definitely see you back here at lunch(~)?" I ask him, a hint of teasing lust in my voice. I know that he's going to take these flowers to his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend. His friends kept coming in here to try to get my help. I always told them that he'd have to actually come in for himself.
"Y-yeah. Yeah. I'll be back at lunch." He said, looking away from me to try to hide his red face away from me behind his fringe of hair. I tuck his fringe back behind his ear and kiss his forehead, gently pushing him out before another customer comes in.
"Great! Bye Firkle!" I smile at him before walking back into my shop and back behind the the counter, seeing him stand there for a couple seconds before focusing on what he originally set out to do. I pick up the $20 he left and put it in the cash register. Hearing the bell chime again, I look up to Great the next customer to help them while thinking of all the possibilities of what we'll do during my lunch break. 'Some fun probably.' I think to myself, quietly snickering helping the customer that had walked in. I can't wait for lunch.

The End

(Author's Note: Hello my lovely readers! This is the last request that I am completing before I close this book. Thank you @manager_bri for requesting, I do hope you enjoy it. As I've said last time, I have fallen out of the South Park fandom. But I will leave this book posted so you all can read it whenever you want, or share it to your friends who haven't read it. Thank you for following for so long. Also, 1K reads on this book!? You amazing readers are so awesome, thank you so much for reading. Have a great day/afternoon/night! Goodbye.)