FREAKING OUT ² ➢ spencer reid

XL

"What if they disown me?" I reached out to ring the buzzer to Issac's apartment, instantly feeling a wave of anxiety rush over me.

After our little rendezvous at home, Reid and I made quick work of getting ready, showering together to save on time. Once finished, we rushed around the bedroom like a pair of tornados, rummaging through piles of fabric until we found appropriate outfits, threw them on, and rushed over.

"They're not gonna disown you," Reid responded. When we got no response from upstairs he raised his brow in my direction and pushed the button again.

I let out a sigh and reached for it a third time, giving it an aggressive set of clicks, which Reid immediately put a stop to. He furrowed his brow in my direction and grabbed my hand, pulling it down towards our sides as he rolled his eyes. I rolled mine back and pushed my hair aside.

When the buzzer finally sounded off, both he and I reached for the door, our hands smacking against each other lightly. As they did I felt my heart rack against my chest, causing me to retract and mutter a quiet apology. In response, Reid chuckled and ran his thumb along the hand he was already holding, using the other to prop open the door and motion me inside.

Together, we walked up the stairs, nervously fidgeting with each other's fingers as we got closer and closer to the door. While it hadn't been that long since my last encounter in the building, the suddenly familiarity sent a shiver up my spine. When we got to Issac's floor I glanced down the hall at one of the doors, instantly remembering how unsafe I felt the last time I was here. At that point, I stopped in my tracks, feeling my throat tighten with anxiety.

Reid moved into my line of vision, flashing me a warm smile as he took my face in his hands and pulled me in for a kiss. "You're okay. He's not here anymore."

While I knew he was right I still couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. I glanced over his shoulder and let out a sigh, feeling his palms move to my shoulders and gripping them tightly. "You're okay," he repeated.

I looked back in his direction, giving him a small nod. It'd been a while since Kane had crossed my mind and while normally I could block it out, right now my usual tactics weren't working. As I stared at the doorway behind Reid all I could think about was how violated I truly felt. How unsafe I was during those moments alone in the warehouse. For so long I kept those feelings inside, pushing them away to the back of my mind like a treasure chest of scorn memories. I never wanted to feel like that ever again.

Reid pulled me into him, resting his hand on the back of my head. Quietly, he repeated his words again, telling me that I was okay and that nobody was going to hurt me. I knew deep down he was telling the truth. Kane was obviously dead; I'd seen it all happen. Despite that though, I couldn't help, but let my mind wander to what Morgan had said. Was I ready to come back? And if so, what would I do different to prevent the same thing from happening? To be honest, I didn't know.

When I moved away from Reid's chest I wiped my face, letting out a shaky breath once I realized I'd be crying. In embarrassment I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Sorry, I don't know what my brain is doing."

"It's processing it's environment," Reid responded with a shrug. He moved his hands back to my face and stepped forward, pressing his forehead against mine. "Even if you don't believe it, your mind obviously remembers the trauma that happened here."

I frowned and wiped my eyes again. "Stupid brain."

Reid let out a small chuckle, shaking his head in my direction. "Your brain is most definitely not stupid." He kissed my forehead and pulled away, giving my face a quick scan, before offering me another smile.