FREAKING OUT ² ➢ spencer reid

XLIX

"Well Dr. Reid, aside from a mild concussion I'd say you're as healthy as a horse."

I scrunched up my face and leaned back in my chair, glancing over at Reid who furrowed his brow and nodded his head. At this point we'd been at the hospital for a couple of hours, which would've been fine if I hadn't been the reason we ended up here in the first place.

Just knowing I was the reason Reid got hurt, hurt my heart more than I cared to admit. The whole way there he assured me that he was fine and didn't care, but deep down I wondered if he secretly did. As awful as it sounded, if it were me I'd probably would. Getting kidnapped was one thing, but if it was at the fault of my partner I'd probably be pretty pissed. At least for a little while.

After the doctor left I turned towards him, giving him a sad look. "You sure you're not mad?" I asked. At this point I'd probably asked that question about a hundred different ways and even though I could tell he was getting frustrated by it he merely shook his head and took my hand, giving it a quick kiss.

He smiled, lacing his fingers in mine as he shuffled towards the edge of the bed and let out a sigh. "I honestly don't care, Isla. All I care is that we're safe." He reached out to hold my stomach, moving his gaze down to the bottom of my torso. Gently, he ran his fingers along the fabric of my shirt and smiled wider.

"They kicked earlier," I stated, placing my hand over his. "It was weird."

He looked up and frowned, stopping his hand. "They did?"

I nodded and squeezed his hand, offering him an apologetic smile. "I hate that you missed it. I know how excited you get with these things."

"Yeah," he mumbled.

At that moment it felt like my heart had completely shattered. I let out a sad sound and stood from my seat, situating myself between his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gripped the roots of his hair, giving them a light rub as I pulled his face against my chest. Instantly, he tucked himself into me, pressing a light kiss to my collarbone as his arms found their way around me. "I love you so much," I whispered, giving his forehead a peck.

I felt his smile return, his soft lips lightly moving against my skin. "I love you too."

I continued rubbing his head, knowing how much he liked it. "Also, don't be mad, but I kind of told everyone about the whole engagement thing." I closed my eyes and scrunched up my face in anticipation for the inevitable reprimand. After we decided to make things official we promised we wouldn't say anything. At least until he had a ring, which with our busy schedules obviously hadn't happened it.

When he didn't respond I felt surprised. I narrowed my eyes and pulled away slightly, watching him scan the length of my face with that dorky tight lipped smile he always gave me. "What?" I let out a nervous laugh, watching him shrug his shoulders. "You're not gonna scold me?"

"Only if you want me to," he retorted with a smirk.

I snorted and rolled my eyes as I fluffed his hair. In response, he merely laughed and moved his hand to fix it, causing me to pull away. Tiredly, I sat back down, placing a hand on his knee as I watched him fiddle with the ends of his hair. As he did, the end of his tongue poked out near the edge of his mouth, signalling how focused he was.

"Hey, Spencer?"

"Hm?" He raised his brow.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course," he responded simply. He shuffled in his seat, watching as I leaned back in mine and crossed my arms.

Ever since we arrived I couldn't help, but recall the events that had happened, especially the ones in the interrogation room. I didn't want to admit it, but Vince had gotten under my skin, bringing out a side of me I never thought I had. I wasn't a violent person. I wasn't capable of doing the things that the people we fought against so often did. At least I didn't think I was. After what happened though, I didn't feel remorse. Guilty maybe, but not because I'd hurt him, but because I was afraid I'd get caught doing it.