for me,

Love

One day somebody asks me,"will you ever love again?"

The question caught me off guard and for a moment, I ponder.
"What do you mean?"

"I mean...will you ever fall in love...again? Will you let yourself? Do you see your future filled with a committed relationship?"

"I-I."
There is a pause.
"I don't know."
"I mean...no...actually. But please don't get me wrong. It's not that I stopped believing in...love, it's just that-."

"What is it?"

[sigh]
"I love Love, you know? It's what I'm good at. It's a part of who I am. But...I can't see myself loving it in a relationship. After some time it all just feels like a trap. I'll never know the outcome. Love is something you can't control. It scares me. Because I know I'm going to love hard and...I know it's going to destroy me. Whoever the lucky person is, I'm certain for sure that I'll love 'em more, you know?"
"And...I love a lot, alright? Being alone for some time, I start being in love with myself. And that affect how I start giving love to others. Even exes I still adore.
I'm never going to stop loving someone. Once you love them, and you see them - you know them...they just become a part of me. Who I am as a person is inspired by love from others. And if I get into dating...I would be forced to stop loving. I would be pressured into thinking that I can only love this one person, I can only give to this one person. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to strip away that part of me who love simply to love. So many people would be cheated off of me. I'm scared of the day nobody else feels my love but this...person who have stolen it from me.
I mean...that's a pretty nasty and difficult way to explain it but...that's how I feel. Unless I meet someone who love just as big and deep as I do then no, I don't see myself falling in love."

"Doesn't it scare you more though? The possibility of being alone forever?"

"Oh God, no! My life will be amazing! It's going to be filled with adventures, memories that'll make me laugh in the middle of the night - I will be a traveller! Yes, yes! The dream is wonderful."

"But what if someone does come by? What if...you meet someone and they want to be with you, you want to be with them too && you're rethinking everything? What if your mind changes?"

"Then isn't that the most wonderful thing about the future? We never know what the Universe will bring but it will always be sweet, won't it? Whatever happen, happens you know? I won't play God, I won't ask questions that will only hinder me. I'm here to live, I'm here to love. If one day somebody changes my mind then...that person must really be the Prophet. Someone God brought down to me, to remind me my purpose. I won't fight it. I'm the luckiest woman there is. Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to. I believe in that."

"How did you get to be so positive?"

"When I finally learned what love actually means."