"why does love pain me so?
i feel that its immortality do not care much for who it carries. but i guess now, i have something to thank it for.
then again, what else does it matter?
maybe this is all it is, that is - all that love means.
ignorance, nonchalance.
day by day i do not care to recognize who it is, of me, that loves you.
i feel that it is some part of me - to love, to beg, to be so blu.
but sometimes i have with me a different woman.
someone who had only been able to come up after so many trials and betrayals, my inner child despairs.
she reeks of anger, impatience and double questions.
who can fulfill her?
who can satisfy her thirst?
not even i.
if i may be of truth, i will tell you that it's getting harder each day to keep her down.
she's screaming at the top of her lungs, all these unkind words that i dare not utter.
because if i did, then i'd lose the people i live for.
how can i be kind? how can i be kind? how can i be kind again?
maybe love just isn't for me.
maybe i am getting sick of it.
and it festersandboilsandexplodes inside of me.
i am no longer angry.
just tired.
and i keep running and running from all those feelings.
hoping one day they'll lose me along the way.
but alas, they are in my shadows.
and i fear....that they had already made a nest, deep inside of my heart. "
— is
YOU ARE READING
for me,
Şiirfor the very life God has brought upon me, for the happiness, the grief, the resentment and the anger in me, for being human; for being love.
