Chapter One

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Dear diary,


Life sucks. It really does. Love is fucking shit. I can't do anything anymore without just screwing it all up. I just died in the inside for the millionth time. I hate myself for everything. Its all my fault. I just wanna break down and cry my eyes out. Its really stupid how I still like him.


It was all because of Ohio. Things were going great. I had the time of my life after I joined science olympiad and I met many great people. Mostly guys because I'm a tomboy and its weird when I'm around girls. But that doesn't mean I'm lesbian because I'm NOT. *sigh* Well here we go with my story.




Well when I was little I was raised around guys and at one point I guess you can say I was a guy, until I was 4 my parents dressed my up like a boy and I had a boy cut, and I gotta say I was pretty cute. Throughout school people were just people and made fun of me, but hey that's something we all go through. I didn't mind it really, even though I had it worse, I just told myself to man up but that didn't really help. In 3rd grade I moved to Ohio and things got somewhat better for me, but that didn't last for wrong, it was just like before. And ugh it was depressing. I got made fun of for my race, and just how I looked, it sucked being one of the only indian girls in my grade. Once I reached intermediate school (5-6th grade) things got way better bullying wise, no one picked on me anymore, and I sorta got popular, so that was great, but there was a negative to that. I used to hang out with those girly white girls, and I was never into the things they liked. I wanted to be emo, I loved listening to screamo and they way they dress and act. But I just couldn't go back to being bullied again. So lets say I had a "secret" personality xD

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