The secrets of Joanne

Why?

Just so you guys know, Crystal is with Tracey and Joe and Dianne are by themselves. <3

It was all of the casts day off and Dianne is spending it with Joe. Crystal went home with Tracey, the night before and said her goodbyes. Dianne woke up with her legs intertwined with Joe's and her hair spread across his chest. "Good morning gorgeous, have a nice sleep?" Joe kissed the top of her head and started to play with her hair. "Yeah, it was alright I guess." Joe looked down at Dianne and pulled a confused face. "What do you mean by alright I guess?" Joe was really confused by what Dianne said and hoped she answered his question. "I just didn't get too much sleep last night. Once you fell asleep, I couldn't. I kept overthinking everything." Dianne looked to the corner of the room and bit her lip. "What where you over thinking gorgeous?" Dianne shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. Tears fell from her eyes and she looked down. Joe pulled Dianne into a hug an rubbed her back. "Do you not want to talk about it?" Joe felt a shake from his chest and realised she was shaking her head. Joe heard a knock on the door, and slowly got up, he kissed Dianne's head and whispered, "I'm just going to the door, I'll be about two minutes." He walked to the door and opened it. He saw Amy and gave her a hug. 

"You alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm good thank you, you?" 

"I'm good thank you." 

"I just came up to ask you if you and Dianne wanted to come for lunch with us today? We're going to the little cafe down the road." 

"I'll need to check with Dianne, but I would love to come. I'll text you if we are. What time are we going?" 

"11.30." 

"Alright, I'll text you if we're coming."

"Why don't you just ask now? Or is she out?" 

"She's a little bit upset, she said that she barley had any sleep and she was overthinking everything."

"Hope she's alright. I need to go but I'll see you soon, hopefully."

"Yeah, hopefully. I'll see you later."

"Bye." 

Amy walked off and Joe shut the door. He turned around and saw that Dianne wasn't on the bed, and just thought she was having shower. Joe walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door, since it was shut. "You alright gorgeous? Are you having a shower?" Joe asked so she could hear. "No, I'm just on the toilet." Little did Joe know, that she wasn't on the toilet, and she was cutting her arm. Tears were flooding her face, she wanted to scream, but she knew Joe was here, so she couldn't. She made sure that when she left, for the tour, she packed a pack of razors, to hide in her bag. Dianne got up and looked in the mirror. She wiped her tears away and pulled her jumper back on, from yesterday, to cover her wrists. She put her razor back into the box, and put the boxes into her bag, and went out. "You alright? You're face is really red." Dianne's heart dropped. Will he find out? "I was crying before I went to the toilet, you know?" Dianne put her bag in the suitcase and Joe was wondering what was in there. "What's in the bag Dot?" Dianne immediately thought he knew. "Huh?" "What's in the bag? It's just that I didn't see that in the house." Dianne tried to think of an excuse, as quick as possible. "Oh, it's just my tampons." "Oh, okay, by the way, Amy came and asked if we wanted to go to lunch with everyone. Do you want to go? It's just the little cafe down the road." 

"Yeah, sure. What time?" 

"11.30. But we'll leave at 11.10."

"Okay." 

"Why are you wearing a jumper Dot? Are you cold?" 

"Yeah." 

"Are you alright Dot? You seem really quiet." 

"I'm fine. It's just me remembering what I thought about earlier."

"Do you want to talk about it? Remember I'm always here for you if you need me gorgeous." 

"Do you mind if we talk about it?" 

"No, we can talk. Look, come sit down on the bed and talk to me." 

Dianne walked over to the bed and sat down next to Joe. She couldn't look him in the eyes, she just couldn't. 

"Talk to me Dot, I want to help you." 

"I was just thinking about how happy I am with you and Crystal in my life. I don't know where I would be without you, you literally light up my whole world and you two are the glue to my heart. I really am happy that I found you and I am just the luckiest girl in the world. If I wouldn't have found you, I would have still been with that monster, and I wouldn't have spoken out about it. He wouldn't be in jail and I would most likely have been pregnant with a kid I don't want. I'm so so so so grateful I have you and your family in my life and I really don't know where I would be."

"Aw Dot, come here." 

Joe pulled Dianne into his chest and kissed her head. 

"I'm so grateful I have you and Crystal aswell." 

//

It was now 11.10 and Dianne and Joe were leaving to go to the cafe, to meet everyone. Dianne put on a long sleeved black top underneath her dungarees, whilst Joe wore some plain black jeans and his white polka dot shirt under his MTV jacket. They left their hotel room and went downstairs. They were hand in hand and finally got the cafe at 11.30. Dianne saw Amy first and ran up to her. 

"Amyyyyy! You didn't tell me about this."

"Wait, did Joe not tell you?" 

"No, he did. But you didn't though." 

Amy gave a little giggle to Dianne's comment and let Joe and Dianne sit down. They all spent ages talking, until the waiter came and asked what drink they would like. It's gonna be a long day. 

//

It's been 15 minutes and Dianne needed to go the toilet. It was so overwhelming. She couldn't sit there anymore, she needed to cut. "I'm just going to go to the toilet quick." Dianne said this quieter than usual, which Joe picked up on. "You alright Dot?" Joe grabbed her wrist and Dianne flinched a bit. She turned around and nodded. "I'm fine, I just need to go to the toilet." She walked to the bathroom and locked the stall door. She couldn't cry out loud, anyone could find her. She pulled the tiny blade out of her pocket and rolled her sleeve up. She dragged it down her arm and went deeper every time. She dragged the blade down her arm about 12 times and put the blade back in her pocket. Little did Dianne know, she was in there for a suspicious amount of time.

//

Joe was starting to get worried about Dianne. "Joe, are you alright?" Amy tried to see if she could figure out what was wrong with him. 

"Yeah, it's just Dianne. She's been in the toilet for about 10 minutes now."

"Do you want me to check on her?" 

"Do you mind Amy?"

"No, it's fine. I'll see what she's doing." 

Amy got up and went to the bathroom. She walked in and heard quiet sobs, from one of the stalls. "Dianne, is that you?" Dianne quickly wiped away the tears and cleared her throat. "Yeah, what's up?" Dianne tried to sound as normal as possible. "I heard you crying Di. Please come out and tell me what's up?" 

Dianne walked out with her sleeves rolled down, and a tear stained face. "What's going on babes?" Dianne shrugged her shoulders and went to walk out. Until, Amy grabbed her wrist. Dianne flinched and made a noise as she touched it. Amy immediately caught on and pulled up her sleeves, to see her arm stained with blood, with new cuts. Her eyes started to water, and she let her tears fall. She looked up at Dianne and just said the words, 

"Why?"