Secret [TAEKOOK]

Guilt

[Jungkook]

He didn't say a word. his face went blank. his face was expressionless. he just turned around and left. I hate this. I hate hurting him. I hated saying each and every word I said and I hated myself for saying them. but I have to do that. he isn't safe with me. I love him more than anyone and anything in this world. I need him by my side. My love for him is unconditional and eternal. but him staying alive is more important than me needing him in my life. and besides, I will get to see him. and when he smiles I will see it and I will be happy when he is happy. I just need to give him time. 

2 days later

I went out of my room and I saw Joon hyung looking a little tense. "what wrong hyung" I asked him distracting him from his thoughts. "do uk where taehyung is?" he asked me sounding worried. "no I haven't seen him in a while." I said like it wasn't a big deal when I was panicking inside. and my brain was blasting me with millions of questions and crazy assumptions. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. with keyword tried and it wasn't working. nothing would when it comes to tae. "did u and him have a fight or something" he asked me curiously and then the guilt washed over me again. "y do u ask?". then he showed me his phone

Tae: hey hyung 

Tae: am fine 

Tae: don't worry bout me 

Tae: will be back 

Tae: don't search for me because am fine like actually

Tae: bye 

ok, now I feel even more guilty. very very guilty. if something happened to him then am the one to blame. " we didn't find him" I heard a voice behind me. it was Jimin and hobi hyung. "kook don't uk where he is," hobi hyung asked me hoping I would know where he went and as a matter of fact I might know. I told Joon hyung the location of our secret place. I made him promise not to tell anyone or take them there because this was a place where tae and I could be together. but then reality hit me. we could have been together but we are not and that's the whole reason he isn't here. "are u coming?" he asked me curiously. if tae saw me he wouldn't want to come back ever. " no I will check other places just in case." Joon hyung nodded and left. hobi hyung left to but Jimin was still sitting there glaring at me. if looks could kill I would have been dead long ago.

He walked up to me and "ik ur responsible for this" he whispered in my ears and shot me one last glare and went to his room. I was just there frozen staring at the wall. remembering every moment I spent with tae. every year every month every hour every second every living and breathing moment I had with tae went through my mind. he is my everything and if something happens to him then I will kill myself. I can't even think about him getting hurt especially not because of me. 

I went to my room and I shut the door behind me. I slid down and sat on the floor. I bought my knees to my chest and I buried my face in the middle and I cried. I cried my heart out but that's not possible because. because Kim taehyung still owns it. 

I love him. I love him so much.