Secret [TAEKOOK]

Pain

[Jungkook]

"u broke him jungkook" Jimin hyung said and that hurt me. I rlly did. he would never disrespect Jin hyung like that or be so rude to everyone. I rlly did break him. my vision was getting blurry due to the tears in my eyes. "excuse me" I excused myself and went to my room to cry. I hurt him. I hurt the love of my life. my heart ached. I want him. I want my tae. the person who would smile just to make me happy and the person who would torture me with questions when I wasn't ok and the person who loved me. I hated this. what have I turned him into? 

Midnight  

I heard the main door open and then close. did he just get back? where has he been? he hates going out alone at night. I went out to see if he was ok but he wasn't there so I went to his room. I opened without knocking and I saw him sitting in the corner and crying. my heart sank at the sounds of his sobs. I went closer to him and he looked up at me. 

"stay away from me." he was drunk. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, his hair was messy and his lip was all bloody and there was a scratch on his left cheek. "I SAID GET  AWAY" his voice was filled with anger but it was also a bit shakey. "am sry tae I never meant to hurt u," I said with regret, he got up and his eyes were filled with rage and anger. he started to walk towards me and I backed away until my back was against the wall. "sry. ur sry. that what ur gonna say. idk y I fell for u. u are nothing but an asshole who thinks bout nothing and no one. u disgust me. I am ashamed of myself for being with u. u got jealous of ur own brother and u got jealous of every boy who I talked to matter who it was. I always. ALWAYS forgave u. I tried my best to not be needy and I tried not to be clingy and annoying. I FUCKING TRIED. but I wasn't good enough. u r the king and u need EVERYTHING  to be fucking perfect but guess what, nothing in this world is perfect. not even u." he said with so much anger. I couldn't help but cry. his words hit me hard. I never meant to hurt him. "I cared for u, I loved u and now I realize that u were never worth my love. and what is love anyway? it's a stupid feelings for losers." how can his words hurt me so much. it's like he is burying me alive. "then I am a loser. a loser who fell in love with u and I don't regret it for even a second". his expression didn't change his anger was still there. "tae am sry please" he cut me off. "please what give u another chance. do u think u deserve it?" tbh no but it could be the last chance and after that he could kill me if he wanted. "I was blind and stupid. I fell for u but now I realize that u were just umm how do I put it. a timepass." those words broke me. he doesn't mean it. Taehyung would never say that.  

"tae this isn't u". "ur ryt. this isn't tae. tae is dead. there is only me now all thanks to u". "don't say that" it hurts to see him like this. 

"I love u tae," I said hoping he would calm down and realize that I still love him. but instead, he did something that I never thought he would. he grabbed my neck and squeezed it slowly. I could feel the oxygen leaving my body bit by bit. "tae" I managed to say. but he didn't let go. I could feel the air completely gone. my head was pounding. but then he let go and I fell to the ground and I was greedily taking as much air as possible. what have I done? tears were still running down my cheeks."leave" he said but am not leaving him in this condition. 

"no," I said still afraid of what he had just done but I didn't show it. when I turned around he was already asleep. I went to him and I removed his leather jacket and shoes and I covered him up. "am sry" I said in a soft voice and I kissed him on his temple and I just sat there looking at him sleeping peacefully.