Beautifully Flawed

" i love you more"

"My father-Our bastard of a father killed Kate. He killed your Mother,Rhea"

What?

The moment those words are out of his mouth i feel like someone just dumped a bucket of piping hot water on me. Or is it ice cold water.

The guys have been stunned into silence. No one moves or speaks.

They're all watching me expectantly and i feel like i'm suddenly being strangled.

"What?" I ask, my voice coming out as a breathy whisper.

He looks away from me, unable to speak.

"What the fuck did you just say!?" I yell, startling everyone in the room.

Irritation and confusion blazing deep in me.

"He said.....our Dad k-killed Kate" Miranda says feebly.

This has to be a joke, a prank.

Looking around for a camera or something, this just has to be a cruel joke!

"This is a joke right? You guys are just playing with me aren't you?" I ask with a forced smile.

Ace moves towards me in an attempt to hold me.
" No!" I yell as i shove him away from me.

" No! Tell me this is a joke. You're fucking joking aren't you!?" I yell again.

This has to be a nightmare....there's no other explanation.

My reality can't possibly be this fucked up!

I start scratching my arms, pinching to the point of drawing blood.....all in an act of desperation to prove that i'm currently trapped in another nightmare.

" Rhea...Rhea wake up. You're in another nightmare, this isn't real girl. wake up!" I start screaming. Pinching myself, scratching, pulling at my hair anything to pull me out of this dream.

"Wake up! This can not be real!" Is all i can say.

Please someone tell me this is all just a dream.

"Last friday.....the investigator that is in charge of our father's case called. It was right after gym class. They said they had a lead...." Mira says barely able to stand on her own two feet.

" i was so hopeful Rhea. I thought maybe there was a mistake. Maybe he wasn't a criminal, just maybe there was a mistake somewhere. But then we got home and my mom was a weeping mess. She was screaming her heart out on the floor. Then i thought....maybe they caught him. Maybe he confessed and pleaded guilty. I was hoping that he realised he was wrong, pleaded guilty and asked for h-help" She continues as she looks me in the eyes.

I feel trapped. Caged.

I can't explain in words the storm of deadly emotions i'm feeling at the moment.

"There has to be a mistake somewhere. T-this is not possible. W-why are you lying to me!? It has to be a lie!" I exclaim, the dam of tears forcing itself open as i lean against the wall for support.

" Rhea.....Rhea please listen to me. Please" Jeff pleads as he inches towards me.

"I'm going to tell you everything the investigator said but please...calm down."

He can't be serious.

" calm down? You want me to fucking calm down!? How on earth do you expect me to be calm!.....I am currently feeling the pain of life and death all at the same time and you want me to be calm!? Two of my closest friends just told me that their father killed my mother, yet you want me to be calm!? This case has been closed for years, sealed, done,impossible to crack, cold! I have worked so hard to bury this pain, i have tried to heal, to put myself back piece by piece! I have tried to forget what it feels like to drown in my own emotions, to constantly be suffocated by my thoughts! And for what? To just have all of this thrown at my face, to have the band aids ripped off my wounds, reopening the scars that took so fucking long to heal! Jeff i  am losing my mind and you want me to be calm!? I have never been so confused in my life! I feel like I'm going insane but you want me to be calm!?........i don't remember what it feels like to have a calm life,the only thing i ever had that was remotely close to peace....it seems it was your father that snatched it from me. i don't know what peace feels like Jeff! I am a walking disaster, a catastrophe, a fucking mess. So don't you fucking tell me to be calm!" I yell as the tears keep spilling. My voice comes out raspy and harsh from being so exhausted.