Beautifully Flawed

"Are you ready?"

"Freya! Mira! Would you two cows stop laughing and come help me out?!"

" Rhea, would you just relax?" Freya says still giggling.

"Exactly! You have the best style. Plus with a body like yours you'd look good in anything!"

It's been two hours.

Two bloody hours and i haven't been able to pick out something to wear.

Based on my calculations Shawn will be here in approximately thirty seven minutes and ten seconds and i'm still a mess.

Throwing my balled up clothes on the bed i lay on the ground in frustration.

" I'm hopeless" i say in defeat.

" no...you're nervous." Miranda corrects.

"You really like him don't you?" Freya asks softly while staring at me.

I just stare at her... unable to answer.

Yes i like him.

As a matter of fact, i like him more than i can describe or begin to put into words but......i don't know if I'm ready to admit it out loud just yet.

As cheesy and as stupid as it may sound....i don't want to admit it just yet because i feel like saying it will mean i have to face reality.

Sure we're both very attracted to each other.....but i don't think we are both good for each other, emotionally.

I know what you're thinking.

But he comforts you.

He makes you feel good.

He's helping you heal.

Exactly!

I don't think i want a relationship with someone as sweet and as perfect as him only to burden him with my problems.

I don't want to make him feel like it's his duty to be by my side whispering sweet nothings and comforting me when i have a nightmare, or to write a note each time i have an episode.

I don't want him to have to sing my pains away and reassure me when the pain makes me hate life in itself.

Don't you think he has the right to decide if he wants to do all that for you?

The voice in my head asks.

Yes, but i also get to decide if i want him in that position.

" try this on" Freya says dragging me out of my thoughts as she hands me a top and a skirt.

With a sigh i take the clothes and put them on in my bathroom.

" what do you think?" I ask, arranging the pleats on the skirt.

" say no more, this is it" Mira states with a smile.

" the skirt is super cute....someday you have to take me shopping" Freya adds.

" just tell me when sweetheart" i say, mirroring their smiles.

And so the next thirty minutes is spent styling my hair and applying a little bit of make up.....i mean, it is an ice cream date after all.

Shit.....am i over dressed?
" guys, don't you think this is too much?" I ask, already second guessing my choice of clothes.

" shut up you look gorgeous" Mira says.

"But we are only going out for ice cream"

" that doesn't make it any less of a date" Freya reasons.