Beautifully Flawed

"i agree"

I'm exhausted.
Yet i can't sleep......

I want to sleep, i want to rest.
I just can't.....my mind won't let me.

I've tried everything.

Camomile tea, hot shower, counting sheep, i even did home work.......i just can't stop worrying.

Worrying about what?

About literally everything and anything.

Worrying about my Dad........

With each day he looks more exhausted, he doesn't come home until the early hours of the morning, he barely talks to me anymore, he's always busy.
He's not himself and i don't even know what to do.

And then there's Jake......
He's either sleeping at my house or at Ace's house just so my Dad and Ace's brother dont get suspicious. He's also not doing well, and i really don't blame him but that doesn't stop me from worrying.
He's constantly zoning out and barely eats, oh and he's also been having nightmares......not as bad as my night terrors but nightmares non the less.

I'm worried about Chloe and Jasmine.....i mean anything could be happening to them right now.
I have this horrible fear that one day we'll just get sent parts of their body or a vital organ....

I'm sorry for putting that image in your head but that's exactly how these psychopaths act.....at least that's what the movies say.

Ever since they were kidnapped, i've barely slept.
The guys and i go to Tony's gym everyday to spar and train after school.

I mean if we're going to infiltrate the mafia and save their prisoners we aren't going in there with the agility of a lazy ass panda and speed of a slug.

Still on matters of training, somedays i take them to the shooting arena......
Let's just say Miranda has zero aim.
Anyways we top off the shooting practice with a long hard run.

Even though we've only been doing these for a few days it's visibly been having it's toll on us......both in terms of making us exhausted and making us look more fit.

I've been studying the layout of the club and its area, just in case there's an emergency and we need to get out.
Maps, satellite images, blueprints, plots.....everything.

Also, Shawn and i have been digging through the dark web in search of illegal transactions between 'El crándo' and really anyone else. Any form of evidence or lead will be so helpful at this point.....another location, a partner, a witness..anything.
But sadly, we haven't been that lucky yet.

Giving up on sleep, i walk down the stairs to make myself a cup of coffee.
I have about an hour left before i have to get ready for school.

As i slowly sip on my cup of coffee, Matheo walks in.

"Morning" he grumbles as he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Hey..."

"Did you even sleep?" He asks, eyeing my face.

"Of course i did.."

"Rhea.."

"Okay not exactly, but i tried" i admit, running my hand over my face.

"Why dont you just.....take the pills. It's been a while."

"Matheo you know exactly how i feel about those pills....you know how they make me feel......I'm not taking them."

He lets out a sigh, still watching me.

"I'm just worried about you sis" he says.

"I know and even though i know you won't listen.....don't worry about me,i'm fine okay?" I say in a feeble attempt to reassure him.