The monster within (A Legends of tomorrow fanfic)

12: Visit

Sara's PoV.:

When I fell asleep, I found myself in the valley from my dream and the vision. I didn't bother looking around instead I started to look for my sister.
„Hello Sara," Laurel said when I turned around and went to hug her. It felt so good to see her even if it was only in visions.
„Why are you visiting me so many times?" I asked smiling when we broke apart. Not that I didn't like it, it just felt a little weird. I had the sneaking suspicion that she's not telling me something.
„I was assigned to help you through the journey you set out on the moment you joined the Legends," she said. „It might sound cliche, but you were meant to her the loom's power." She was way off. That kind of power should not belong in anyone's hands, especially mine.
„You're right. It does sound cliche" I answered. „What do you mean journey?" I left out the part where I wanted to get rid of it.
„Remember how lost you were before you joined Rip?" Laurel asked. She kinda had a point even though I didn't understand where she was going with it.
„Yes. I mean I did just get my soul back" I said sitting down on a tree trunk.
„Then you joined them and you found your purpose as the White Canary"
„Yeah well, you gave me that name right after you told me I should go." I got a look from Laurel she used when saying 'I told you so'. I didn't really understand it but didn't ask. „But that still doesn't explain the road thing." Or the destiny part but I had to hear the full story before bringing up the fact, that I am not keeping these powers.
„Well, later you became the captain. You are a natural-born leader and though the Loom was used by three gods before it needed someone like you so it would be in good hands. But first, you needed to be okay with my death and everything else that happened to you. You fought against saving me, but screwing up history and you succeeded in it. First not killing Damien Darhk than the Spear. After that, you had to defeat your demons, though I could have lived with a less literal solution it was your choice how to do it. Than the Loom itself. It chose you and you had to destroy it to finally get the reward." Laurel told me the story I already knew but from the perspective of the Loom choosing me. I still didn't understand one thing though.
„Wouldn't it have been easier and better had it been someone with less damage and scars?" I asked confused as to why I have been chosen.
„Your scars only make you stronger. At least that is what you told Atropos" Laurel said with a slight smile on her face. „There is one last thing you have to do. But not for the Loom, for yourself. You have to forgive yourself." I felt like she knew that I want to get rid of the power and she talked about that.
„I don't think I deserve forgiveness," I said looking down at my hands. „I killed people in cold blood" I looked up at Laurel. I left out so many things I did but for some reason, I felt like she knew.
„But that is not you anymore and you managed to forgive Damien Darhk even though you never told him. If you could do that then you can forgive yourself. If it is any help, I already forgave you for the thing you hate yourself the most. Now I think you have an important meeting today" with this she disappeared soon followed by the forest and the valley too. I rolled my eyes right before I woke up.

I woke up in my bed next to Ava as every single morning. I felt bad for not telling her the whole truth about where I was going. She was still fast asleep so I slowly left the bed making sure she doesn't wake up and started to pack a few things in a backpack. After I finished I put on my usual black top and black jeans along with a bracelet I got from Laurel when we were young. I haven't worn it since she died but this time I wanted to feel her close to me. By the time I finished getting ready to leave Ava woke up. She was watching me for a while before she spoke.
„Hey Babe," she said. Her voice was a little sleepy but she already stood up and came to me.
„Good morning beautiful," I said before kissing her. She seemed happy and I thought, that what I just learned might be able to ruin it but she had the right to know after everything we went through together. „Babe I have to go talk to Charlie," I said when we finally broke apart. „I need to ask her advice on my powers," I said leaving the part where I was basically the Loom now out for that time. I didn't feel ready to talk about that yet.
„I understand it," she said followed by a chuckle probably because of my confused look. „Your power did come from a Fate, so probably a Fate is the best teacher with it," she said then pointed at the backpack in the door. „I assume you didn't want to tell anyone else," she said and I looked down confirming what Ava just said. „What am I supposed to tell the team?"
„Well, if everything goes according to plan I will literally be back in a minute. If not tell them I needed some alone time" I said. I grabbed my backpack and before I left the room kissed Ava one more time. She was the most understanding person I've ever met, though she did not start like that.

I left our room and went to the jump ship. To my surprise, I met no one on the way or in the flight-deck. I set the course and asked Gideon to do the rest. I soon found myself in London at night of course. It was strange as I just woke up but at that point, it didn't matter. I had to be at night as I had no idea where Charlie spent her days but I had a pretty good guess on where she spent her evenings. I landed with the jump ship and asked Gideon to make it look like a car for the time being. I went into a little pub close to where I landed. On the door, posters were proclaiming that The Smell is the main event every night. I went in and looked around. I didn't bother to make myself any other clothes so I wore what I had on me, black jeans and top. The Smell was on stage when I entered playing their version of Mr. Parker's cul-de-sac. I listened to the song that was rather annoying in the TV show but pretty good as a punk song and went to the bar. I ordered a whiskey and sat down waiting for the band to finish. When they did, I watched as all four members walk down to the back. I ordered another whiskey and drank it before I went after them.
„You know you look like you just killed someone right?" the familiar voice of Charlie asked right before I wanted to stand up and go to the back.
„I missed you too," I said on a voice that was closest to sarcasm. „I came here to talk to you." her expression changed from smiling to serious.
„That's a good thing as I wanted to contact you too" Charlie answered in a serious tone. "But not here. You never know who you can trust" she said and stood up motioning for me to follow her.

We went to Charlie's apartment. It was a little one with a living room and a bedroom. Charlie invited me to the living room and went into the kitchen to bring some water for me. I looked around and found a miniature version of the Waverider made entirely out of steel and glass. It was a masterpiece. On the wall, there were Smell posters and a picture of the Legends we made in 2018. The whole team was on it along with Nora and Gary. Charlie came back and we sat down to talk.
„So, why did you want to call us?" I asked sipping my water.
„Well, I know we destroyed the Loom of fate last year but I can still feel its presence" She just came out with it. I was surprised though I should have expected it. She was a fate after all and we did set out to destroy that thing.
„You see, it is because it wasn't actually destroyed but converted into me," I said looking in her eyes, after all, I did come here to tell her this. She looked at me confused for a second then started to laugh.
„Good one Sara," she said. I looked at her with eyes more serious than anyone could ever make.
„Look, Charlie," I said as calm as I could. „I was abducted by aliens. Then fought a dragon who turned out to be a girl. I saw her in the demon dimension" I said emphasizing the word saw. „Than I met her sister who has a nasty scar and I saw how she got it." I tried to stay calm but my voice started to rise slightly as I let out more and more of my hidden stress. „Not to mention the fact that later Lilly, the dragon-girl found out I have visions. Then I got visited by my dead sister in my dream" by that time I was practically yelling. „Who told me that everything I've done since I stepped on the Waverider was to prepare me to destroy the loom and get its powers so according to her the powers we all wanted to be gone saying even three gods shouldn't have it are in me now and I have to deal with it. So no it is not in the slightest a joke." after that, I went silent. I yelled at my friend for no exact reason. I tried to avoid being awkward by awkwardly sipping my water while Charlie was probably thinking on an answer that wouldn't get her killed. At least that's what I would have done if I have been in her place. This went on for five whole minutes when she did something unexpected. She suddenly touched my hand sending me „Flying" out of the room into a vision.