The broken and their secrets [COMPLETED]

Sacrifices

Chapter 6: Sacrifices

I have never said this out loud but I sometimes I wish I loved myself the way I love Uhuru. I think if I loved myself I wouldn't tolerate any of the things he has put me through, I wouldn't even put myself in situations where I have to sacrifice my happiness just to please him. That's what our relationship has been like since day one, I always give and he just takes without any hesitation.

"Congratulations"

I honestly hate making small talk about my pregnancy, I get bored by strangers who feel the need to ask me shit about this baby.

Me"Thank you"

Kay looked at me

"Can't we buy these things online?"

Kay"We can, but it's better to ask the sales people what is best"

Me"Kay please don't make me do this"

I held back the tears but in all honesty I just wanted to cry, I just wanted to run away and leave this life behind. I was still waiting to be enchanted by being pregnant but each day I fought suicidal thoughts, each day I hated this baby more. I cried myself to sleep when Uhuru was busy snoring, each day I felt like I was stuck in hell and I couldn't even breath. My hell was growing each day, and each day I wanted to die.

Kay"Don't cry, I'll do this alone. Take my keys and wait in the car"

Me"Please don't bring the baby stuff to my place"

I wiped my tears

Kay"Busi"

Me"Ndakucela"

Kay"Let's go"

In her car I just cried, she just played Jessie J's Who you are and that was just a trigger for me. I never wanted a baby, I have always been clear about that. I have never once lied about it but suddenly everyone is expecting me to be this person with maternity superpowers. My parents are happy they will be grandparents, Uhuru's parents are always calling me and buying these baby clothes. Uhuru? He worships the ground I walk on, only my friends noticed my misery. Lihle and Kay were with me every minute, I sometimes thought they moved in with me. They slept in my bed when Uhuru travelled for work, they drove me around and when Uhuru is around they carpooled to work with me. Lihle worked in Walker and lives in Lovemore heights, I work in Humewood and live in Lorraine but she drove me to work when it was her turn even though it didn't make sense for her to do.

Kay"Phuma Busi"

I opened my eyes and looked around, I didn't recognize the place.

Me"Kuphi apha?"

Kay"Dr Ziba's house"

She came to open my door, she was in tears.

Me"Why are you crying?"

Kay"Let's go"

That's all she said then wiped her tears, we walked in silence then she opened the door. Dr Ziba was walking towards us.

Dr Ziba"First room on your right, sleep there and I will wake you up xa sigqibile"

Kay looked reluctant.

"She will be fine, I promise you I will wake you up"

She gave me a hug then walked away.

Dr Ziba"Hello Sibusisiwe"

"Let's go to my home office"

I followed behind her, she offered me a seat and then sat down.

Dr Ziba"Your friend Lihleli called me, she was surprised you are no longer my patient"