Rainy Days [James Potter]

Chapter 37

Lily Evans. How James had missed her.

She had proved a shallow replacement for Robin, at first. But then they got to talking. Was she always this funny? He wouldn't know, they only communications prior to their first date had been several strings of insults and rejections.

Over time, he forgot about the brunette he had previously dated. She didn't show up to meals, or for any of their joint lessons. He never passed her in the hall. The only sign that she still attended Hogwarts was the occasional encounter story from another one of the Marauders.

Graduation came quickly. He became an auror. He got married. He had everything he ever wanted, and it seemed it had all happened in the blink of an eye.

Still, there was a nagging voice at the back of his head.

What about her?

James simply pushed it aside, as she did with him. Last he heard, Robin had reverted back to her friendship with the snakes. Pursued a career as a Death Eater.

Not that he cared, of course. He was just disappointed in her. He should have seen it coming.

'I don't want to join the Order.' she had told him, 'I can't help people like you do.'

Excuses. Now, she tortured people. Killed them. All for what? For some stupid idea of blood purity? For discrimination? Or just hurting for the sake of hurting? Killing for the sake of killing?

He felt like crying every time he thought about it, but it felt so suffocating that instead he choked on air.

Lily, despite her warm nature and empathy, never understood. Nobody did. Not even James himself, who had so successfully gotten over Robin, understood why he was so fixated on her.

Over time, the bitterness dimmed. The air came back into his lungs. His wife was pregnant. He was getting ready for the last Order mission he would ever have to participate in-- a raid of Death Eater headquarters. Avery Manor.

He looked over to Sirius on his right, who held a finger to his lips, gestured towards the dozen people behind him, and held up three fingers.

Then two.

Then one.

They all rushed towards the entrance.

"Bombarda!" Someone had yelled from behind him. The door shattered on command and he heard the sound of chairs being pulled back and legs scuffling forward in a frenzy. Everything seemed to be going too fast. Spells were thrown at him, which he blocked with ease. They pushed forwards as a group, making their way to the center of the mansion, where the important information and people were held.

An ear-piercing scream shattered the silence around them.

"Marlene!" He called out, distracted for a moment. His masked opponent took their chance and threw a killing curse in his direction. As he looked back at the flash of green light, he was frozen in place. For once, everything seemed so slow. His legs wouldn't move, and the only thing he could do was watch his chance at a normal life, at being a father, shatter at his feet.

Crack!

The scene disappeared. He felt the uncomfortable sensation of being pushed through a tube, and then he was free again. The hand on his arm let go of him.

"Hello, James." his whole body stiffened. He knew that voice. Of course he knew that voice. He turned around, and there she was. Her brown hair was silky and straight as always. Her dark blue eyes still cold and calculating, but held a twinkle of mischief. Robin White, once his whole world, now just a cloaked figure in a dark room. "I must let you know that it was not my intention to see you again."

"How kind of you." he pursed his lips. She laughed in response.

"Don't be like that. I just meant that I shouldn't have done this." she cocked her head to the side. "I wouldn't have, if my... Colleagues... Had not decided to almost kill you."

"And this matters to me why?"

"Just making friendly conversation." she said lightly, humming a soft tune.

"Take me back to the Manor." he ordered.

"Not yet." she shook her head. "Besides, if you really wanted to go, you could go yourself."

"I'm under surveillance."

"I know." she walked around the darkened room. "But I do need to tell you something. I made an unbreakable vow, so I can't tell you all of it, but..."

"But?"

"Don't tell anyone of our encounter. Not even your friends." she said solemnly, "You don't know who you can and can't trust."

They stood in silence for a few moments. It almost reminded him of their last encounter, but the air was different. He didn't feel the same around her anymore. She was almost a stranger.

"Why did you do it all?" he asked suddenly. She sighed and smiled sadly.

"Because I love you." she said, then grabbed his arm and took him back to the Manor. Soon enough, she was gone. She had left him yet again.

*

A few days later, it became unbearable. He was unable to hold it in any longer.

"Hey, I have to tell you all something before Lils and I go into hiding." James admitted to his friends, rubbing the back of his neck.

"What's up?" Sirius sat down on the sofa.

"A couple days ago... I saw Robin." James replied and Peter and Remus both sat down next to Sirius, taken aback.

James told them everything. How could he not? They were his best mates in the world. They would never betray him. He knew everything about them. It was only fair that they knew everything about him.

He only realised his mistake a few days later.

*

"Robin, come forth." Voldemort commanded. "I must... Talk to you."

"Yes, milord." she replied, mustering some courage.

"One of our spies has informed me that you have had contact with James Potter. Is this true?"

"No, milord." Robin said shakily. He could tell that she was lying.

"Now, Robin, there is no need to lie." He hissed, "I already know."

*

ROBIN WHITE FOUND DEAD
Robin White, suspected to be involved with Death Eaters and even He-who-must-not-be-named himself, was found dead last night in an alley by Godric's Hollow. Nobody knows the reason behind this gruesome use of the killing curse, but she is suspected to have 'betrayed' the Dark Lord in some way.
Anyone with any information please contact us.

That was it. That was the end. That was the moment when he knew that he would never see her again.

He couldn't gather any tears. He felt numb. She was such an important part of his life, even for such a small amount of time. It just seemed surreal. He may not have loved her like he did back then, but it hit him hard.

The moment he died a year later, the moment his son became the boy who lived, the moment one of his best friends betrayed him, he clutched the letter she gave him.

He died thinking of Robin and clung to the lost hope that one day, his son could live a normal life.