Run To You

Chapter 10 - Explainations

I sat alone in my room, upset and confused.
The phone rang.
"Hello?" I said, answering the phone.
"Katie. I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do. I shouldn't have left." It was Danny.
"It was a stupid mistake, I've never done anything like that before and I don't ever plan on doing it again. I don't know why I did it. I'm sorry I scared you." I told him.
We talked for while, until I heard the front door open, mum was home.

I ran downstairs and into her arms "I need to talk to you" I told her.
She made tea and we sat down, I told her everything.
"I don't want you to be miserable, and I will support you if you want to move back to Australia with Josh, but, you need to think seriously about this. You're 16, are you really ready to fend for yourself?" She said.

I was kind of hoping she'd tell me I wasn't allowed to go with Josh, and make the decision for me. But she did get me thinking. Was I ready to fend for myself? I don't think I could do it. Maybe a new start is what I need.

I love Josh, but we're 16. It's not like this was going to last forever. We had fun, but I think I have to let him go. I think I want Danny. I think I want to live in England. I think a new start is what I need.

I called Josh, asking him to meet me at the local park.
In 15 minutes I was going to have the hardest conversation of my life, I'm not ready for this, but I have to do it.
"I'm going to be okay" I repeat to myself as I walk to the park.
I don't know how I'm going to tell him, how am I going to find the right words? I'm going to break his heart. God, I feel terrible.

I arrived at the park, Josh was sitting on a swing directly opposite from me, he smiled when he saw me, and ran over to me, hugging me. I held him tight, this was the last time I'd be hugging the boy I love. I really wasn't sure about this decision, but I felt like this was the right thing.

I stepped back and looked to the ground "let's sit" I said as I walked to the nearest picnic table, taking a seat, Josh followed.
"I've made a decision" I told him, I could see the hopefulness in his eyes, and it broke my heart.
"I have to stay, Josh. I'm not ready to leave my parents, and fend for myself and I think maybe a new start is what I need... I love you. But, I'm sorry, it's... It's over."
I could see his heart shatter to pieces, I could see tears building up in his eyes, I could see he didn't want to talk, in case he cried.

He stood up "I understand" he said quietly, he turned and started to walk away.
"That's all you have to say?!" I yelled.
He turned around, with an angry expression on his face, "what do you expect Katie? I travelled almost 10,000 miles for you, and you chose to stay here, with Danny! You don't love me, you have no idea what love is!" He yelled, storming off into the distance.

I sat in the park for hours, numb. I don't know what I expected, but I was no longer sure that was the right thing to do, I felt terrible. But what's done is done.
I missed him.